Tag: love

Pass Along Values (1 Kings 2:1-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David’s Dying Charge to Solomon, by Ferdinand Bol (1616-1680)

David’s time was coming to an end. So he commanded Solomon his son, “I’m following the path that the whole earth takes. Be strong and be a man. Guard what is owed to the Lord your God, walking in his ways and observing his laws, his commands, his judgments, and his testimonies, just as it is written in the Instruction from Moses.

“In this way you will succeed in whatever you do and wherever you go. So also the Lord will confirm the word he spoke to me: ‘If your children will take care to walk before me faithfully, with all their heart and all their being, then one of your own children will never fail to be on the throne of Israel.’ 

“You should know what Joab, Zeruiah’s son, has done to me and what he did to the two generals of Israel, Abner, Ner’s son, and Amasa, Jether’s son. He murdered them, spilling blood at peacetime and putting the blood of war on the belt around his waist and on the sandals on his feet. So act wisely: Don’t allow him to die a peaceful death. 

“As for Barzillai’s sons from Gilead, show them kindness. Let them eat with you. When I was running away from your brother Absalom, they came to me. 

“Now as for this Shimei, Gera’s son—a Benjaminite from Bahurim—who is with you, he cursed me viciously when I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord, ‘Surely I won’t execute you with the sword.’ But you don’t need to excuse him. You are wise and know what to do to him. Give him a violent death.”

Then David lay down with his ancestors and was buried in David’s City. He ruled over Israel forty years—seven years in Hebron and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. (Common English Bible)

David

On David’s deathbed, he ensured that his son Solomon would be king. And David had some pragmatic advice to pass along, before he himself passed away.

Along with an encouragement to remain faithful to God’s covenant stipulations, David communicated some personal scores to Solomon that needed to be settled. Old general Joab, as well as Shimei, a servant from Saul’s old house, were threats to the new king’s reign in Israel and Judah.

Joab and Shimei

King David had a complicated relationship with Joab. At issue for David was the murder of two opponents to the king. Joab had killed them in a time of peace, and not because of a wartime situation.

On top of that, Joab had thrown his lot in with Adonijah, Solomon’s half-brother, who had tried to wriggle onto the throne before David was even gone.

And then there was the character Shimei. He had cursed David repeatedly when yet another half-brother to Solomon, Absalom, engaged in a coup attempt against his father.

Once the threat had passed, Shimei made a quick about face back to David. The king told Shimei that he would not kill him. But with Solomon, David communicated that he was completely free to do what needed to be done with the old rascal Shimei.

Fathers

Ideally, all fathers would have the chance to communicate to their children at the end of their lives. Yet, having been at the bedside of many a father in my work as a hospital chaplain, I’ve not seen many who pass along wisdom and instructions on their deathbed.

Fortunately, there are times when I can help facilitate the conversation between father and family. Yet, unfortunately, there are far too many times when fathers simply die with no loved ones present; or they badger someone to promise to stop doing something.

Rare, however, are the experiences of expressing some sound instruction, along with instructions about how to deal with life.

I realize that wills and documents do much of this work nowadays, yet I still argue that face-to-face communication which reinforces one’s values is always a good idea – especially at the end of one’s life.

Honestly, nobody really needs to wait until they are nearly gone to communicate important values and sage advice to loved ones. It can be done now, before it’s too late.

I’m talking about more than healthcare decisions for the actual end of life situation – but about the grace, forgiveness, wisdom, and/or moral values one wants their loved ones to know; or to reinforce those things that are of upmost importance.

It seems to me that thinking through the following values, and how to communicate them, can be done now, and, if appropriate and possible, at the end of one’s life:

Empathy

Treat others with compassion and understanding. Practice kindness. Consider the emotions of others. Seek to understand another’s point of view. Encourage family members to talk about their feelings. 

Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12, CEB)

Relationships

In the end, the only thing permanent and enduring is relationships. We cannot take any of our stuff with us. Prioritize time with people, especially family. It only makes sense to value loved ones by putting our time into them.

Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying. Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. (Romans 12:15-16, CEB)

Honesty

Telling the truth is not always easy, but it’s essential to maintaining trust between people. Life requires knowing and living by the truth.

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teaching. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32, CEB)

Love

Deep affection and attachment connects people and keeps them together. It’s important to verbally express love, as well as to demonstrate it with actions.

Don’t be in debt to anyone, except for the obligation to love each other. Whoever loves another person has fulfilled the Law. (Romans 13:8, CEB)

Commitment

Support one another in difficult times; and do not intentionally harm each other. Don’t shame your family for mistakes they’ve made. Instead, express loyalty and encouragement.

Be the best in this work of grace in the same way that you are the best in everything, such as faith, speech, knowledge, total commitment, and the love we inspired in you. (2 Corinthians 8:7, CEB)

Respect

Treat everyone, and especially family members, with the upmost care and politeness; and discourage disrespectful words and offensive behavior.

Submit to each other out of respect for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21, CEB)

Perseverance

Your family will face many complex challenges in the years ahead. Encourage them to embrace shared goals, practice self-care, and patiently work together in order to overcome obstacles. 

We even take pride in our problems, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. (Romans 5:3-4, CEB)

It is always open season on passing along wise and good values, no matter whether it’s in a calm or a calamitous season of life.

Almighty God, enable me to be mindful of your mercy and happy to do your will. Bless my family with honest work, sound learning, and good manners. Save us all from violence, division, and confusion; and from pride and arrogance, and all evil. Protect us, and keep us united.

Grant Your wisdom to all in positions of authority and influence, so that there may be justice and peace at home, and obedience and submission everywhere. In times of prosperity, fill our hearts with grace and gratitude, and in times of trouble, help us trust in Your divine justice, righteousness, and goodness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

A Sad Family Situation (2 Samuel 14:25-33)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David and Absalom, by Marc Chagall, 1956

In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two hundred shekels by the royal standard.

Three sons and a daughter were born to Absalom. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she became a beautiful woman.

Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face. Then Absalom sent for Joab in order to send him to the king, but Joab refused to come to him. So he sent a second time, but he refused to come. Then he said to his servants, “Look, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there. Go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

Then Joab did go to Absalom’s house, and he said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?”

Absalom said to Joab, “Look, I sent word to you and said, ‘Come here so I can send you to the king to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me if I were still there!”’ Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death.”

So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom. (New International Version)

Parents are people, and so, they don’t always make sense. David was both a king and a parent. And those two roles often got mixed and complicated for him.

David’s son Abasalom had killed another son, Amnon, who had sexually assaulted a daughter, Tamar, Abasalom’s sister. Yes, it sounds a lot like a Bible soap opera.

Joab, David’s military general (and cousin) convinces the king to bring Absalom back to Jerusalem, having fled Jerusalem after killing Amnon. And David did so. Yet, he gave an order that Absalom was not to come into his presence, even though David longed for his son.

It was a case of the nonsensical – the parental approach of yearning for an adult child, while at the same time, shunning and shaming them. Indeed, these were incongruent actions on the part of David.

When Tamar was assaulted, David found out and was very angry; yet he neither dealt with Tamar by giving her support and compassion, nor dealt with Amnon in meting out justice.

As for Absalom, David’s feelings for him did not translate into action. It appears the story wants us to see the wide gap between King David’s emotions and actions.

Perhaps the emphasis on Absalom’s sheer beauty is designed to emphasize the incongruence of David – this handsome man is put at arm’s length by his father. Furthermore, this behavior would eventually put David’s royal position in jeopardy.

When guilt and shame are not confronted, it leads to a downward spiral into continued levels of degradation.

The assault of Tamar led to the murder of Amnon, which led to the inactions of David. Everyone ended up responding to someone else’s guilt by adding their own guilt to it. In this scenario, everyone loses something, and there is a lot of unnecessary grief.

Abasalom returned to his hometown of Jerusalem. But everything had changed. He was simply existing. Honestly, Absalom needed something, anything, instead of living day after day in a house without any love or acceptance. Absalom was in that awkward place of wanting either mercy or judgment, acceptance or punishment, because to live in limbo was shrinking him to nothing.

For those who know the story of David and Absalom, you understand where all of this family dysfunction is leading; and it will not end well.

It could be that Jesus had this story in the back of his head when he told the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15). Perhaps Christ wanted us to see what could happen when a father chooses to respond with actions of grace, acceptance, and undeserved kindness. Even though the son had done something awful and was full of guilt, when he finally made his way home, the father ran to him, embraced him, and accepted him with a blowout party.

We can only wonder what would have happened had David stepped into the situations of his children’s lives when they were going awry. Methinks that had David done so, with his characteristic wisdom and mercy, there would have been a very different outcome in his family.

One way of viewing this story is that the incongruence of King David toward Absalom, with his combination of longing and rejection, was a stubborn passive-aggressive refusal to give his son the grace and love which God had given to him. In light of the story’s eventual end, this view makes a lot of sense.

Yet, this doesn’t have to be the same for you or me in our family relationships today. We can choose to love, instead of inflexibly holding on to a denial of love. One can do all the mental gymnastics of justifying that denial by believing you’re teaching the kid a lesson, or giving them what they deserve, but it’s really, at it’s core, choosing not to love with the love provided by God.

Réconciliation d’Absalom et de David, by Gabriel de Saint-Aubin, 1752

Absalom eventually entered David’s throne room and received a kiss. But it was simply too little, too late. And that’s why, at some point after this, Absalom decided to replace his emotionally and actively distant father as king.

If guilt, shame, evil, and sin go unchecked for too long, it makes for a terrible mess of people’s lives; and usually results in either verbal violence, physical violence, or both.

But it doesn’t have to be that way….

For being quick to see the sins of others, and slow to repent of our own, forgive us, Lord.

For clinging to remembered hurts, and brushing off gestures of kindness, forgive us, Lord.

For the divisions among us that damage our mission to the world, forgive us, Lord.

For the work we have not done because we refused to do it together, forgive us, Lord.

For these and all our sins, O God, we weep in sorrow and ask for your forgiveness, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Showing God’s Kindness (2 Samuel 9:1-13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
King David reaching out and receiving Mephibosheth, 13th century Bible illustration

David asked, “Is there anyone from Saul’s family still alive that I could show faithful love for Jonathan’s sake?” There was a servant from Saul’s household named Ziba, and he was summoned before David.

“Are you Ziba?” the king asked him.

“At your service!” he answered.

The king asked, “Is there anyone left from Saul’s family that I could show God’s kindness to?”

“Yes,” Ziba said to the king, “one of Jonathan’s sons, whose feet are crippled.”

“Where is he?” the king asked.

“He is at the house of Ammiel’s son Machir at Lo-debar,” Ziba told the king.

So King David had him brought from the house of Ammiel’s son Machir at Lo-debar. Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson, came to David, and he fell to the ground, bowing low out of respect.

“Mephibosheth?” David said.

“Yes,” he replied. “I am at your service!”

“Don’t be afraid,” David told him, “because I will certainly show you faithful love for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the fields of your grandfather Saul, and you will eat at my table always.”

Mephibosheth bowed low out of respect and said, “Who am I, your servant, that you should care about a dead dog like me?”

Then David summoned Saul’s servant Ziba and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything belonging to Saul and his family. You will work the land for him—you, your sons, and your servants—and you will bring food into your master’s house for them to eat. But Mephibosheth, your master’s grandson, will always be at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.)

Then Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do whatever my master the king commands.”

So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table, like one of the king’s own sons. Mephibosheth had a young son named Mica. All who lived in Ziba’s household became Mephibosheth’s servants. Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table. He was crippled in both feet. (Common English Bible)

This is actually one of my favorite stories in all of Holy Scripture. It clearly demonstrates why David is a king and a person who reflects God’s own heart. I believe that King David is at his best here, ruling and living exactly as the Lord wanted him to.

In much of the ancient world, whenever a king came to power and replaced the previous king of whom he was not related, it was a common practice to either exile or outright kill the sons and grandsons who would have become heirs to the throne. It was a literal cutthroat way of securing the new throne, by wiping out any potential rivals.

It’s quite possible that no one would have faulted David or batted an eye if he had made sure there was nobody around related to King Saul – who died in a battle with the Philistines. Not only did David avoid that practice, but he did just the opposite of it.

Finally on the throne of both Israel and Judah, one of the first acts of King David was to wield his power and authority by finding out if there were any relatives of Saul that he could show faithful love toward.

I can just imagine the servant of Saul, Ziba, being brought into David’s presence, thinking for sure that this is the end. Instead, David wanted to know if there’s anyone in Saul’s family to which he could show kindness.

The word King David used to communicate his benevolent intentions was “chesed” (חסד – pronounced “KES-ed”). This is rich Hebrew word which refers to God’s steadfast covenant loyalty and love toward Israel.

Because of its richness, chesed is translated various ways in the English translations, including: “mercy,” “kindness,” “loving-kindness,” “steadfast love,” “compassion,” and even “goodness.”

The big idea in today’s story is that David had the power to destroy, but instead used his authority in order to extend loving loyalty and mercy to Mephibosheth, son of Jonathan, and grandson of Saul – David’s old enemy and nemesis.

What’s more, David could have found out about Mephibosheth, learned that the man was crippled, in no position to ever do anything for or against him, and simply left him alone. And again, nobody likely would have thought anything about ignoring the man.

But not David. He was determined to embody chesed in the life of Mephibosheth. So, he brought him to Jerusalem and provided for him by having him sit at the king’s table for the rest of his life.

David didn’t have to do that. Yet, God’s steadfast love compelled him. You know grace has a hold of someone’s life, whenever they go out of their way to extend human kindness to another person who has absolutely no means of paying them back or reciprocating at all.

Jesus, the Son of David, clearly understood the idea of chesed and lifted it, taught it, and embodied it for his own followers:

“If you love those who love you, why should you be commended? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, why should you be commended? Even sinners do that. If you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, why should you be commended? Even sinners lend to sinners expecting to be paid back in full. 

“Instead, love your enemies, do good, and lend expecting nothing in return. If you do, you will have a great reward. You will be acting the way children of the Most High act, for he is kind to ungrateful and wicked people. Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. (Luke 6:32-36, CEB)

I wonder who it is that God wants you to show grace, mercy, and love toward?

Lord Jesus, as you commanded us to love one another, just as you love us, help us to demonstrate that love toward others. We acknowledge that it is impossible on our own, so we ask for the enabling of your Holy Spirit to produce that love in us.

We believe that you love and care for those who are suffering from illness, violence and persecution. We pray for protection, comfort and healing for those in need or who are forgotten.

Enliven us with your Holy Spirit, so that we may be instruments of your peace and love in a troubled world. Use us and all believers as your ambassadors to our families, colleagues and neighbors.

Holy God, you demonstrated your love for us through the Resurrection of your Son and our Savior Jesus Christ. We commit to making decisions as who trust in your ever-present love and grace. Guide us in becoming a people who welcomes all, and values mutuality and partnerships.

Provide us courage and insight as we seek to be a community who provides respite, and a place to sooth souls. Grant us all the things necessary for our common life, and bring us to be of one heart and mind within your Church; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Ministry to the Poor and Needy (2 Corinthians 9:1-5)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

If I wrote any more on this relief offering for the poor Christians, I’d be repeating myself. I know you’re on board and ready to go. I’ve been bragging about you all through Macedonia province, telling them, “Achaia province has been ready to go on this since last year.” Your enthusiasm by now has spread to most of them.

Now I’m sending the brothers to make sure you’re ready, as I said you would be, so my bragging won’t turn out to be just so much hot air. If some Macedonians and I happened to drop in on you and found you weren’t prepared, we’d all be pretty red-faced—you and us—for acting so sure of ourselves.

So to make sure there will be no slipup, I’ve recruited these brothers as an advance team to get you and your promised offering all ready before I get there. I want you to have all the time you need to make this offering in your own way. I don’t want anything forced or hurried at the last minute. (The Message)

Organizing relief efforts, and giving to relief organizations, is nothing new. Poverty and need has existed as long as humans have been on this earth. The constant rub is this: Some people aren’t in poverty, and some are.

So how do we get resources from the people who have them to the people who are really in need? Just as important, and perhaps more basic, how will folks care enough about the poor to give money and basic relief?

The Apostle Paul informed the Corinthian Church that he boasted about them to the Macedonians – about their eagerness to participate in ministry toward their fellow believers in need. The Macedonian believers had been ready to participate for quite some time.

In stating this, Paul intended to stir up the Corinthians about the offering for believers in Jerusalem. He had organized a delegation of Macedonians, along with persons from Paul’s own ministry team, to go to Corinth together. The last thing Paul wanted was to have the Corinthians unprepared to give.

Paul was a person who intended to do good, and then followed through with it. He held people accountable for their actions and inactions. He organized the benevolent offering for Jerusalem’s believers, and then made sure that all of the churches good intentions became reality.

Although Paul’s concern in organization and accountability may strike some as coercion for funding, it seems to me that a more plausible reason is that Paul simply wanted to try and ensure that everyone’s giving was done from a place of love, not coaxing or guilting.

The Apostle wanted believers and churches working together for good purposes. He wanted everyone to have a positive experience of helping and being united in spirit and purpose. The churches were young, and Paul was doing everything he could to encourage their growth in grace.

A good way of fostering unity and mission would be to have the churches participate in helping needy believers in Jerusalem. It was a very worthy and needed cause – and also served the cause of Christ.

What’s more, ministry to the poor has always been a hallmark of pure religion. A concern, dedication, plan, and accountable action on behalf of the poor helps everyone, and demonstrates authentic ministry.

My dear friends, pay attention. God has given a lot of faith to the poor people in this world. God has also promised them a share in his kingdom that he will give to everyone who loves him. (James 2:5, CEV)

We are to care about the needy because God cares about persons trapped in poverty. The poor are people; and all people are important. Jesus came to this earth to have a ministry to them; and he lifted a text from Scripture (Isaiah 61:1) to give his reason for doing so:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has chosen me to bring good news to the poor.”(Luke 4:18, GNT) 

God has a lot to say about the poor and needy because they are dear to the divine heart. The Old Testament law was quite clear about how to treat the poor: 

Poor persons will never disappear from the earth. That’s why I’m giving you this command: you must open your hand generously to your fellow Israelites, to the needy among you, and to the poor who live with you in your land.(Deuteronomy 15:11, CEB)  

Let’s keep in mind that only the poor in spirit will enter the kingdom of heaven. Our trust is to be in God, and not in our money or our stuff. 

The genuine believer has a real humility that demonstrates grace to people who cannot offer them something in return. It’s easy to be merciful to those who will turn around later and scratch our backs. But it is altogether a different thing to give without any strings attached. 

God cares about the condition of our souls, and not the balance on our bank statements. Since God does not judge people on face value, nor on the state of their finances, then neither should we.

The Apostle Paul, in his ministry, sought to teach others in the way of Jesus by:

  • Turning people from only associating with those they are comfortable with, to lovingly reaching out to people very different from themselves
  • Changing people’s thinking from what they can obtain and consume, to becoming people of love and generosity with their words and their physical resources
  • Putting to death: a proud spirit that looks to get ahead; all personal petty agendas; accumulation of more power; and exertion of control – but instead, provide humble repentance and forgiveness

Ministry to the poor is a non-negotiable for the Christian church. Beyond only dispensing benevolent funds, the poor need relationships, connections, resources, and a chance to give back in ways they can contribute.

Lord God, you came to honor the least, the forgotten, the overlooked, and the misjudged. You came to make the last, the left behind, the misunderstood, and the undervalued, first. You came to give a warm welcome to the lost, the orphaned, the abandoned and the destitute.

Help us to be your ears to listen to their cries; and your voice speaking out love and acceptance. Help us to be your feet walking beside those in need; and your hands to clothe, feed and shelter them. You came for the least, the lost and last of this world. Lord, hear our prayer. Amen.