Tag: honesty

Some Relational Wisdom (Proverbs 25:1-28)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Here are some more
    of Solomon’s proverbs.
They were copied by the officials
    of King Hezekiah of Judah.
God is praised
    for being mysterious;
rulers are praised
    for explaining mysteries.
Who can fully understand
    the thoughts of a ruler?
They reach beyond the sky
    and go deep in the earth.

Silver must be purified
before it can be used
    to make something of value.
Evil people must be removed
before anyone can rule
    with justice.

Don’t try to seem important
    in the court of a ruler.
It’s better for the ruler
    to give you a high position
than for you to be embarrassed
    in front of royal officials.
Be sure you are right
    before you sue someone,
or you might lose your case
    and be embarrassed.

When you and someone else
can’t get along,
    don’t gossip about it.
Others will find out,
and your reputation
    will then be ruined.

The right word
    at the right time
is like precious gold
    set in silver.
Listening to good advice
is worth much more
    than jewelry made of gold.
A messenger you can trust
is just as refreshing
    as cool water in summer.
Broken promises
are worse than rain clouds
    that don’t bring rain.
Patience and gentle talk
can convince a ruler
    and overcome any problem.

Eating too much honey
    can make you sick.
Don’t visit friends too often,
or they will get tired of it
    and start hating you.
Telling lies about friends
    is like attacking them
with clubs and swords
    and sharp arrows.
A friend you can’t trust
    in times of trouble
is like having a toothache
    or a sore foot.
Singing to someone
    in deep sorrow
is like pouring vinegar
    in an open cut.

If your enemies are hungry,
    give them something to eat.
And if they are thirsty,
give them something
    to drink.
This will be the same
as piling burning coals
    on their heads.
And the Lord
    will reward you.
As surely as rain blows in
    from the north,
anger is caused
    by cruel words.
It’s better to stay outside
    on the roof of your house
than to live inside
    with a nagging wife.

Good news from far away
refreshes like cold water
    when you are thirsty.
When a good person gives in
    to the wicked,
it’s like dumping garbage
    in a stream of clear water.
Don’t eat too much honey
    or always want praise.
Losing self-control
leaves you as helpless
    as a city without a wall. (Contemporary English Version)

The wise sayings in this chapter of the Book of Proverbs have to do with relational topics such as: relating to a leader; relating to others; and relating to oneself (self-control).

Relating To a Leader

When it comes to relating to any sort of leader above us, it is best to avoid arrogance and embrace humility.

Whether we realize it, or not, or like it, or not, leaders have a perspective that others don’t. They see the big picture of what is happening, and ideally, make wise decisions based upon all the factors and people involved.

This means that we are not always, maybe not even usually, going to understand what a leader or ruler is doing. This is why it is so important for leaders themselves to consult and collaborate with others, and choose wisely.

Humility isn’t only for followers, it is just as much, perhaps even more, necessary for the leader. Making decisions in a vacuum, or just trusting in one’s own counsel, usually doesn’t work out well. Everyone has character flaws, yet a leader’s flaws, weaknesses, and sins can stick out rather easily to others.

That doesn’t mean, however, that anyone has a right to believe they themselves can do a better job, or know more about how to lead, or have all the information. Because they don’t.

The ways of God are mysterious because it is a very big picture that only the Lord sees. And there are a lot of moving parts and people to all of God’s choices and movements in this world.

The important part, for us, is to recognize the goodness and wisdom of God, and to trust that the Lord – as the God of Love – always does what is right, just, and good, even though it may not always seem that way.

Relating To Others

When it comes to how we generally relate to our fellow humanity, we are to show some empathy and deference. The ability to put yourself in another’s shoes is quite important and necessary, in order to relate well to others.

In failing to do this, and only thinking of oneself, we end up overstaying a welcome from someone who was thinking of us; or not paying attention that my morning blessing feels more like a curse to the night owl; or sharing some juicy tidbit of information that isn’t ours to share, so that others listen and pay attention to me.

Today, in this day and age, many persons fail to think of others when they are driving. Far too many people drive as if they own the road, and as if the traffic laws don’t apply to them. If they think of another driver at all, it’s only to curse them for hindering their ability to get to where they want to go.

Relating to Self

In contrast to all of that, we ourselves are to practice self-control and choose to live differently. Instead of cursing, we bless; and rather than selfishness, we practice selflessness.

If we would but all learn to exercise kindness over revenge, our world would be a very different place than it is today. And if we would but choose to speak the truth in love, rather than tell lies in hate or indifference, then there would be a lot less harm and hurt in this old fallen world.

By practicing self-control, we stop the cycle of hate, injustice, and unkindness. But if we choose the path of escalating verbal and/or physical violence, then this only leaves us vulnerable to harm. And it may open a way of having those you care about be harmed, as well.

I myself am the only person I’m in control of. And so I choose to:

  • be honest, trustworthy, and let God provide the judgment and justice needed for others
  • consider others, and think before talking
  • listen to wise counsel, and not entertain the manipulative words of the foolish
  • walk the patient path of wisdom

O God, grant me the wisdom I need in all my relationships. Help me recognize when things may be unsafe. I pray your protection over me and my family when we feel vulnerable. Thank you for having the power to heal broken relationships. Amen.

Wisdom for Life (Proverbs 11:1-31)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

The Lord detests dishonest scales,
    but delights in an accurate weight.
When pride comes, so does shame,
    but wisdom brings humility.
Integrity guides the virtuous,
    but dishonesty ruins the treacherous.
Riches don’t help in the day of wrath,
    but righteousness rescues from death.
The righteousness of the innocent makes their path straight,
    but the wicked fall in their wickedness.
Those who do right are saved by their righteousness,
    but the untrustworthy are caught by their own desires.
When the wicked die, their hope perishes.
    Yes, any hope based on money perishes.
The righteous are saved from distress,
    and the wicked take their place.
The godless destroy their neighbors by their words,
    but the righteous are saved by their knowledge.
When the righteous succeed, a city rejoices;
    when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.
A city is honored by the blessing of the virtuous;
    it is destroyed by the words of the wicked.
Whoever despises their neighbor lacks sense;
    a sensible person keeps quiet.
A slanderer walks around revealing secrets,
    but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.
Without guidance, a people will fall,
    but there is victory with many counselors.
Guaranteeing the debt of a stranger brings big trouble,
    but the one who refuses to shake hands will be secure.
A gracious woman gains honor;
    violent men gain only wealth.
Kind persons benefit themselves,
    but cruel people harm themselves.
The wicked earn false wages,
    but those who sow righteousness receive a true reward.
The righteous are headed toward life,
    but those who pursue evil, toward death.
The Lord detests a crooked heart,
    but he favors those whose path is innocent.
The evil person will surely not go unpunished,
    but the children of the righteous will escape.
Like a gold ring in a pig’s nose
    is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
The desires of the righteous end up well,
    but the expectations of the wicked bring wrath.
Those who give generously receive more,
    but those who are stingy with what is appropriate will grow needy.
Generous persons will prosper;
    those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
People curse those who hoard grain,
    but they bless those who sell it.
Those who look for good find favor,
    but those who seek evil—it will come to them.
Those who trust in their wealth will wither,
    but the righteous will thrive like leafy trees.
Those who trouble their family will inherit the wind.
    The fool will be servant to the wise.
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
    and the wise gather lives.
If the righteous receive their due on earth,
    how much more the wicked and sinners? (Common English Bible)

The good and the bad, the wise and the foolish, the righteous and the wicked. When it comes to proverbial wisdom, there are two kinds of people: Those who take a right, just, and good path of life; and those who take the wrong exit, practice injustice, and embrace being bad.

We are all, of course, a strange amalgam of sinner and saint. Everyone has some altruism, along with a devious bent. So, life really comes down to our choices. Will our decision-making be wise, or foolish?

This is where the Book of Proverbs helps us. It lays out a prudent course of action for us, so that we can gain a perspective on the consequences of those actions, whether good or bad.

We have to carefully weigh our decisions and consider the likely outcomes of the choices we make.

As we decide, keep in mind that honesty is the best policy (11:1-4); choices have consequences (11:5-6); certain choices lead to rewards (11:7-10); good brings good, and bad brings bad (11:11-31).

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Making the decision to be honest in all things is what builds our capacity to resist evil. Poor choices often come from simply giving in, because we don’t have our resistance to saying “no” built up yet.

Humility enables us to keep our minds on the task at hand, rather than compromise on our integrity in order to achieve something we believe we need or want. The humble person understands that all things are a gift from God – and that the Lord can give, and the Lord can take away. Humility teaches us to say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

When we are emptied of self-promotion, and filled with honest humility, righteousness results. And the righteous person automatically and reflexively denies all evil and wickedness.

Choices Have Consequences

Just because no one sees it, doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. And just because there was no lightning strike from God immediately after a transgression, doesn’t mean that God’s judgment isn’t coming later.

I talk to far too many people, in my line of work as a hospital chaplain, who are filled with regret about some decision they made earlier in their life. Because now they are experiencing the physical consequences of that choice (and the emotional and relational consequences, as well).

A set of choices made earlier in life not only have real consequences later that one can see and feel; those decisions also erode the ability to make sound decisions in the present. It is a tough uphill struggle to gain some spiritual and emotional health, whenever any reserve of righteousness was not properly developed and maintained.

Certain Choices Lead to Rewards

Conversely, however, consistently good decisions, made over a stretch of time, provide solid spiritual and emotional dividends from which we can draw from in difficult times.

The chief reward for the righteous is that they have a robust life of faith and goodness because of their relationship to the Lord and a good supportive community of persons.

Foolish living leads to punishment; wise living leads to reward. A good life is really a reward itself. That’s because we are meant to live this way, to be merciful and just in all we do, walking humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8)

When the wicked die, that’s it. But when the righteous die, they leave a profound legacy in the form of others who have been encouraged, helped, and loved by their righteousness. They carry on the legacy of good. It makes a big difference.

I cannot imagine any greater reward than to know that I have been faithful to my God, and good to my fellow humanity. Such persons become like a great cloud of witnesses, testifying to the worth of investing in wisdom and humility.

Good Brings Good, Bad Brings Bad

A just and good life inspires others, invigorates groups of people, and leads to holistic health of individuals. Purity of heart is beneficial to the individual, and is contagious to the community.

A foolish life trusts in their own bad attitudes and personal opinions – and then they will wonder why they don’t get anywhere in life, and nobody wants to be around them.

King Solomon himself, gatherer of the biblical proverbs, knew all too well about both the good and the bad, and their eventual outcomes.

Solomon was quite humble and wise at the beginning of his reign. He did everything his father David asked of him, and more. But his wild success as king gradually brought him to acquire more stuff, more wives, and to fudge on the responsibilities and requirements of being king.

If a guy like King Solomon, who was the wisest person who ever lived, can ignore his own nation’s God and Holy Scripture to get whatever he wanted, then how much more do we, who have less wisdom, need the grace of loving people speaking truth to our hearts?

The people we surround ourselves with, no matter who we are, is vitally important. Everyone needs loving persons around them who will tell them what they need to hear in a spirit of love and grace. 

None of us do well with success unless we have humble and wise persons close to us who have the gumption and the grace to speak into our lives to help us, not hurt us. When we don’t have that, things go sideways.

I encourage you to go back and read Proverbs chapter 11 again, slowly, letting its wisdom seep into you. Also, a good practice is to read a chapter of Proverbs each day for the next month; and to occasionally, in the future, come back to this practice.

May the proverbial biblical wisdom fill your heart and your mind, so that you are able to make sage decisions in all of the various circumstances you encounter in this life. Amen.

Pass Along Values (1 Kings 2:1-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David’s Dying Charge to Solomon, by Ferdinand Bol (1616-1680)

David’s time was coming to an end. So he commanded Solomon his son, “I’m following the path that the whole earth takes. Be strong and be a man. Guard what is owed to the Lord your God, walking in his ways and observing his laws, his commands, his judgments, and his testimonies, just as it is written in the Instruction from Moses.

“In this way you will succeed in whatever you do and wherever you go. So also the Lord will confirm the word he spoke to me: ‘If your children will take care to walk before me faithfully, with all their heart and all their being, then one of your own children will never fail to be on the throne of Israel.’ 

“You should know what Joab, Zeruiah’s son, has done to me and what he did to the two generals of Israel, Abner, Ner’s son, and Amasa, Jether’s son. He murdered them, spilling blood at peacetime and putting the blood of war on the belt around his waist and on the sandals on his feet. So act wisely: Don’t allow him to die a peaceful death. 

“As for Barzillai’s sons from Gilead, show them kindness. Let them eat with you. When I was running away from your brother Absalom, they came to me. 

“Now as for this Shimei, Gera’s son—a Benjaminite from Bahurim—who is with you, he cursed me viciously when I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord, ‘Surely I won’t execute you with the sword.’ But you don’t need to excuse him. You are wise and know what to do to him. Give him a violent death.”

Then David lay down with his ancestors and was buried in David’s City. He ruled over Israel forty years—seven years in Hebron and thirty-three years in Jerusalem. (Common English Bible)

David

On David’s deathbed, he ensured that his son Solomon would be king. And David had some pragmatic advice to pass along, before he himself passed away.

Along with an encouragement to remain faithful to God’s covenant stipulations, David communicated some personal scores to Solomon that needed to be settled. Old general Joab, as well as Shimei, a servant from Saul’s old house, were threats to the new king’s reign in Israel and Judah.

Joab and Shimei

King David had a complicated relationship with Joab. At issue for David was the murder of two opponents to the king. Joab had killed them in a time of peace, and not because of a wartime situation.

On top of that, Joab had thrown his lot in with Adonijah, Solomon’s half-brother, who had tried to wriggle onto the throne before David was even gone.

And then there was the character Shimei. He had cursed David repeatedly when yet another half-brother to Solomon, Absalom, engaged in a coup attempt against his father.

Once the threat had passed, Shimei made a quick about face back to David. The king told Shimei that he would not kill him. But with Solomon, David communicated that he was completely free to do what needed to be done with the old rascal Shimei.

Fathers

Ideally, all fathers would have the chance to communicate to their children at the end of their lives. Yet, having been at the bedside of many a father in my work as a hospital chaplain, I’ve not seen many who pass along wisdom and instructions on their deathbed.

Fortunately, there are times when I can help facilitate the conversation between father and family. Yet, unfortunately, there are far too many times when fathers simply die with no loved ones present; or they badger someone to promise to stop doing something.

Rare, however, are the experiences of expressing some sound instruction, along with instructions about how to deal with life.

I realize that wills and documents do much of this work nowadays, yet I still argue that face-to-face communication which reinforces one’s values is always a good idea – especially at the end of one’s life.

Honestly, nobody really needs to wait until they are nearly gone to communicate important values and sage advice to loved ones. It can be done now, before it’s too late.

I’m talking about more than healthcare decisions for the actual end of life situation – but about the grace, forgiveness, wisdom, and/or moral values one wants their loved ones to know; or to reinforce those things that are of upmost importance.

It seems to me that thinking through the following values, and how to communicate them, can be done now, and, if appropriate and possible, at the end of one’s life:

Empathy

Treat others with compassion and understanding. Practice kindness. Consider the emotions of others. Seek to understand another’s point of view. Encourage family members to talk about their feelings. 

Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12, CEB)

Relationships

In the end, the only thing permanent and enduring is relationships. We cannot take any of our stuff with us. Prioritize time with people, especially family. It only makes sense to value loved ones by putting our time into them.

Be happy with those who are happy, and cry with those who are crying. Consider everyone as equal, and don’t think that you’re better than anyone else. (Romans 12:15-16, CEB)

Honesty

Telling the truth is not always easy, but it’s essential to maintaining trust between people. Life requires knowing and living by the truth.

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teaching. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32, CEB)

Love

Deep affection and attachment connects people and keeps them together. It’s important to verbally express love, as well as to demonstrate it with actions.

Don’t be in debt to anyone, except for the obligation to love each other. Whoever loves another person has fulfilled the Law. (Romans 13:8, CEB)

Commitment

Support one another in difficult times; and do not intentionally harm each other. Don’t shame your family for mistakes they’ve made. Instead, express loyalty and encouragement.

Be the best in this work of grace in the same way that you are the best in everything, such as faith, speech, knowledge, total commitment, and the love we inspired in you. (2 Corinthians 8:7, CEB)

Respect

Treat everyone, and especially family members, with the upmost care and politeness; and discourage disrespectful words and offensive behavior.

Submit to each other out of respect for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21, CEB)

Perseverance

Your family will face many complex challenges in the years ahead. Encourage them to embrace shared goals, practice self-care, and patiently work together in order to overcome obstacles. 

We even take pride in our problems, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. (Romans 5:3-4, CEB)

It is always open season on passing along wise and good values, no matter whether it’s in a calm or a calamitous season of life.

Almighty God, enable me to be mindful of your mercy and happy to do your will. Bless my family with honest work, sound learning, and good manners. Save us all from violence, division, and confusion; and from pride and arrogance, and all evil. Protect us, and keep us united.

Grant Your wisdom to all in positions of authority and influence, so that there may be justice and peace at home, and obedience and submission everywhere. In times of prosperity, fill our hearts with grace and gratitude, and in times of trouble, help us trust in Your divine justice, righteousness, and goodness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

The Truth about Lying (Acts 5:1-11)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.

Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”

When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. Then some young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.

About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?”

“Yes,” she said, “that is the price.”

Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.”

At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events. (New International Version)

We all know what a deceitful liar is because, well, we have all lied and practiced deceit in our lives. How ubiquitous is lying? According to one Harris poll:

  • The average person tells at least 2 lies every day. (That’s the equivalent of 730 lies per year)
  • 60% of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation.
  • 40% of people deceive prospective employers by lying on their resumes.
  • 90% of peoplelie on their online dating profiles.
  • 80% of spouses lieto their partner about their spending habits.
  • 50% of teenagers lieto their parents about their whereabouts.

And those are just lies that have been admitted. So, how many more lies and deceptions are there really out there?…

We also all know why we lie. You will likely find yourself in these top five reasons for lying:

  1. Fear of punishment
  2. Protection from harm
  3. Avoidance of shame or embarrassment
  4. To gain advantage and/or power over others
  5. Out of habit and/or compulsion

However, maybe you aren’t in touch with how lying really impacts you, how powerful deceitfulness truly is on your own psyche and personhood. Lying has major consequences for us including:

  • Loss of trust and damage to relationships
  • Loss of physical health and damage to mental health
  • Loss of job and damage to reputation
  • Loss of resources and experience of damages in lawsuits

In the instance of two people, Ananias and Sapphira, it meant loss of life and damage to the fellowship of new believers in the fledgling church.

The couple’s guilt, in front of the Apostle Peter and the entire church, is that they were counterfeit community members. Ananias and Sapphira were not what they seemed to others. They were not truthful because they were not vulnerable.

By lying in order to achieve an honor and a status they had not earned, Ananias and Sapphira not only dishonored and shamed themselves as patrons; they also unwittingly exposed themselves as outsiders who were pretending to be honest believers. In short, the two of them were imposters.

Their deceit demonstrates that they were still functioning within the existing Roman patronage system. Yet, true followers of Christ in the believing community, purposefully practiced a different system. The Christians had an interpersonal relation of giving and receiving love – which worked out itself in sharing all things in common with one another, without the class distinctions of the patronage system.

The cross of Christ abolished walls of separation and established a truly egalitarian society. To feign equality, but actually still live about in the inequitable world, is tantamount to rejecting the work of Christ’s cross.

The deception of Ananias and Sapphira was an attempt to appear just like Barnabas – who was the real deal, and the consummate steward of resources. Barnabas was an encourager, always thinking of others and the needs of the community (Acts 4:36-37).

Ananias and Sapphira wanted to look generous, but their motives were really to give in order to maintain their class status, and not for the sake of love. What’s more, their lie about it and their lack of honesty and vulnerability was clearly seen by Peter and interpreted by him as nothing less than lying to the Holy Spirit of God.

One of the purposes of the Holy Spirit is to form God’s people into a community that uses resources in accordance with a deep concern for others. It’s not surprising, then, that Ananias and Sapphira’s fakery of generosity is presented as falsifying the work of the Spirit. Their deception was an outright threat to Christian spiritual identity and community.

Like Ananias and Sapphira of old, our contemporary lying is typically to misrepresent who we are and how we are really doing and feeling.

The most common lie of people in the United States is saying “I’m fine” when they are really and truly not okay. Anxiety, depression, and the appearance of negativity is a source of guilt and shame for many Americans – so they lie about how they’re really doing.

It’s better to fake it, they believe, because no one actually cares how I’m doing. There is still very much a cultural stigma around people who admit not feeling well or not being okay. And that, my friends, very much needs to change.

It’s always good to begin with being honest with small things and avoiding white lies. Instead of lying, practice gratitude. Being thankful for all the small things in life is a truthful replacement to a lie. I wonder what Anania and Sapphira would have been like with that sort of healthy spiritual practice. But alas, we can only imagine.

In the case of you and I, we need not have to wonder. We can begin today by observing the good, the beautiful, and the truthful, and express gratitude for all the little ways for the good which is seen.

Grant me today, O God, some new vision of your truth. Inspire me with the spirit of joy and gladness. Make me the cup of strength to suffering souls; in the name of the strong Deliverer, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.