Tag: emotional health

Spiritually and Emotionally Overwhelmed

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality BlogLeave a comment
Gethsemane – His Will, by Lucy Dickens

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
    from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2, NRSV)

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – Timber Hawkeye

Even Jesus got overwhelmed.

He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:37-39, New International Version)

Jesus was so spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed, he felt so bad, that depression and grief were a powerful part of his experience in the garden as he anticipated facing his horrendous death.

Yes, Jesus became grieved and depressed. Not only did he express such emotions in prayer, but he also told his feelings to his disciples. I personally don’t know of any leader – either in the world or in the church – that would ever admit such a thing to his/her parishioners, employees, or constituents.

Christ confessed that his very soul was encircled with grief-stricken depression. The weight of the emotion was so heavy that Jesus felt as though he was being crushed to death.

“It is one thing for Jesus to feel this way; but should a leader tell his followers he feels this way? Isn’t a part of effective leadership keeping fears from followers? But if Jesus having depression has already taught us it is acceptable, at times, to be depressed, then Jesus talking about his depression teaches that it is acceptable, at times, for leaders to tell followers the bad state of their souls.” – Frederick Dale Bruner, The Church Book: Matthew 13-28

If Jesus needed human companionship and the ability to bear his soul, then how much more do his followers need to do so? And especially the clerics who are ordained to his ministry?

Becoming overwhelmed is a universal human experience:

May my prayer come before you;
    turn your ear to my cry.

I am overwhelmed with troubles
    and my life draws near to death.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am like one without strength. (Psalm 88:2-4, New International Version)

We may become overwhelmed by being devastated or feeling overpowered by a confluence of circumstances all at once. To be overwhelmed is to experience several big emotions all at once – including an awful feeling of estrangement from God and/or others.

Whenever complicated grief, relational distance, traumatic experiences, and too many responsibilities come together, they create a perfect storm which can leave us stuck, lonely, and chronically tired.

There are times when it seems as if every time we turn around, there’s another big shoe that drops. We might end up dealing with so many large circumstances and important situations happening at the same time, that we become spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed with it all.

Although it’s easy to become overwhelmed, it’s hard to get over those big, troubled feelings. Yet, we can do it. We can initially calm ourselves enough to function.

Yet, we also need to understand that the emotional array surrounding our difficult circumstances will take more than a few minutes and a few breathing exercises to overcome; it could take weeks, months, even longer.

What’s more, going forward, there will always be a need to listen to our bodies, be attentive to our feelings, and remain in touch with our gut instincts.

We could use some helpful habits to serve us well, whenever we sense the tug toward that sinking feeling of becoming spiritually and emotionally overwhelmed:

  • Sit with your emotions, especially the grief. That is, acknowledge your feelings, and actually let yourself feel them, and express them in positive ways that don’t damage others or their property.
  • Identify and list your current stressors. Then, prioritize them as to which you will work on first. Avoid multi-tasking. Breaking down your life into manageable pieces, done over time with patience, is a healthy way of approaching the behemoth in front of you.
  • Write out your experiences. Keep a daily journal. Focus on expressing both your emotions and your gratitude. The act of writing in and of itself is a powerful means of bringing health, wholeness, and some sort of sense to your situations.
  • Create art. Learn a musical instrument, write your own poetry, sculpt, or paint. Let any anger and frustration come out through your art, rather than coming out sideways onto others through verbal violence.
  • Discover new or alternative spiritual practices, i.e. mindfulness, meditation, Reiki, aromatherapy, breath prayers, etc. Crazy new circumstances you’ve never experienced before may require some seemingly new or strange practices you’ve never tried before.
  • Change the story you are telling yourself. Look for parts of your experience within your control. Learn from the past. Consider what you might do differently in the future in similar situations. In other words, let your story not be one big nasty carbuncle on your soul; allow it to be a companion that teaches you.
  • Consider having a comfort animal. Caring for a pet fosters emotional healing. This one addition to your life could change it immeasurably for good.
  • Engage your inner critic. Face the judgment you may be giving yourself and replace it with grace. Work on dropping the ego and becoming your true self. And there is perhaps no better way of this happening than facing your inner critic.
  • Exercise. Pay attention to where you carry stress in your body. Find an enjoyable way of moving your body.
  • Connect with others. Join a group of like-minded people, such as a faith community or a volunteer organization. Tell your story to another trusted person, such as a friend, therapist, or pastor.
  • Find your identity. Most spiritual traditions take a high view of humanity as having intrinsic worth. As for me, I know to whom I belong: God. Having my identity firmly in Christ – and not in my abilities, or the lack of them – makes all the difference.

Our limitations, screw-ups, diseases, disorders, and disasters need not define our lives. There is no shame in admitting when we are full of sorrow, in the throes of grief, experiencing depression, or living in an awful situation.

Taking Jesus as an example, we have the courage to face stressful adversity and become the people we were always meant to become.

May the places of darkness within you be turned towards the light. And may you know divine shelter and healing blessing when you are called to stand in the place of pain. Amen.

Wisdom for Life (Proverbs 11:1-31)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

The Lord detests dishonest scales,
    but delights in an accurate weight.
When pride comes, so does shame,
    but wisdom brings humility.
Integrity guides the virtuous,
    but dishonesty ruins the treacherous.
Riches don’t help in the day of wrath,
    but righteousness rescues from death.
The righteousness of the innocent makes their path straight,
    but the wicked fall in their wickedness.
Those who do right are saved by their righteousness,
    but the untrustworthy are caught by their own desires.
When the wicked die, their hope perishes.
    Yes, any hope based on money perishes.
The righteous are saved from distress,
    and the wicked take their place.
The godless destroy their neighbors by their words,
    but the righteous are saved by their knowledge.
When the righteous succeed, a city rejoices;
    when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.
A city is honored by the blessing of the virtuous;
    it is destroyed by the words of the wicked.
Whoever despises their neighbor lacks sense;
    a sensible person keeps quiet.
A slanderer walks around revealing secrets,
    but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.
Without guidance, a people will fall,
    but there is victory with many counselors.
Guaranteeing the debt of a stranger brings big trouble,
    but the one who refuses to shake hands will be secure.
A gracious woman gains honor;
    violent men gain only wealth.
Kind persons benefit themselves,
    but cruel people harm themselves.
The wicked earn false wages,
    but those who sow righteousness receive a true reward.
The righteous are headed toward life,
    but those who pursue evil, toward death.
The Lord detests a crooked heart,
    but he favors those whose path is innocent.
The evil person will surely not go unpunished,
    but the children of the righteous will escape.
Like a gold ring in a pig’s nose
    is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
The desires of the righteous end up well,
    but the expectations of the wicked bring wrath.
Those who give generously receive more,
    but those who are stingy with what is appropriate will grow needy.
Generous persons will prosper;
    those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
People curse those who hoard grain,
    but they bless those who sell it.
Those who look for good find favor,
    but those who seek evil—it will come to them.
Those who trust in their wealth will wither,
    but the righteous will thrive like leafy trees.
Those who trouble their family will inherit the wind.
    The fool will be servant to the wise.
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
    and the wise gather lives.
If the righteous receive their due on earth,
    how much more the wicked and sinners? (Common English Bible)

The good and the bad, the wise and the foolish, the righteous and the wicked. When it comes to proverbial wisdom, there are two kinds of people: Those who take a right, just, and good path of life; and those who take the wrong exit, practice injustice, and embrace being bad.

We are all, of course, a strange amalgam of sinner and saint. Everyone has some altruism, along with a devious bent. So, life really comes down to our choices. Will our decision-making be wise, or foolish?

This is where the Book of Proverbs helps us. It lays out a prudent course of action for us, so that we can gain a perspective on the consequences of those actions, whether good or bad.

We have to carefully weigh our decisions and consider the likely outcomes of the choices we make.

As we decide, keep in mind that honesty is the best policy (11:1-4); choices have consequences (11:5-6); certain choices lead to rewards (11:7-10); good brings good, and bad brings bad (11:11-31).

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Making the decision to be honest in all things is what builds our capacity to resist evil. Poor choices often come from simply giving in, because we don’t have our resistance to saying “no” built up yet.

Humility enables us to keep our minds on the task at hand, rather than compromise on our integrity in order to achieve something we believe we need or want. The humble person understands that all things are a gift from God – and that the Lord can give, and the Lord can take away. Humility teaches us to say, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

When we are emptied of self-promotion, and filled with honest humility, righteousness results. And the righteous person automatically and reflexively denies all evil and wickedness.

Choices Have Consequences

Just because no one sees it, doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. And just because there was no lightning strike from God immediately after a transgression, doesn’t mean that God’s judgment isn’t coming later.

I talk to far too many people, in my line of work as a hospital chaplain, who are filled with regret about some decision they made earlier in their life. Because now they are experiencing the physical consequences of that choice (and the emotional and relational consequences, as well).

A set of choices made earlier in life not only have real consequences later that one can see and feel; those decisions also erode the ability to make sound decisions in the present. It is a tough uphill struggle to gain some spiritual and emotional health, whenever any reserve of righteousness was not properly developed and maintained.

Certain Choices Lead to Rewards

Conversely, however, consistently good decisions, made over a stretch of time, provide solid spiritual and emotional dividends from which we can draw from in difficult times.

The chief reward for the righteous is that they have a robust life of faith and goodness because of their relationship to the Lord and a good supportive community of persons.

Foolish living leads to punishment; wise living leads to reward. A good life is really a reward itself. That’s because we are meant to live this way, to be merciful and just in all we do, walking humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8)

When the wicked die, that’s it. But when the righteous die, they leave a profound legacy in the form of others who have been encouraged, helped, and loved by their righteousness. They carry on the legacy of good. It makes a big difference.

I cannot imagine any greater reward than to know that I have been faithful to my God, and good to my fellow humanity. Such persons become like a great cloud of witnesses, testifying to the worth of investing in wisdom and humility.

Good Brings Good, Bad Brings Bad

A just and good life inspires others, invigorates groups of people, and leads to holistic health of individuals. Purity of heart is beneficial to the individual, and is contagious to the community.

A foolish life trusts in their own bad attitudes and personal opinions – and then they will wonder why they don’t get anywhere in life, and nobody wants to be around them.

King Solomon himself, gatherer of the biblical proverbs, knew all too well about both the good and the bad, and their eventual outcomes.

Solomon was quite humble and wise at the beginning of his reign. He did everything his father David asked of him, and more. But his wild success as king gradually brought him to acquire more stuff, more wives, and to fudge on the responsibilities and requirements of being king.

If a guy like King Solomon, who was the wisest person who ever lived, can ignore his own nation’s God and Holy Scripture to get whatever he wanted, then how much more do we, who have less wisdom, need the grace of loving people speaking truth to our hearts?

The people we surround ourselves with, no matter who we are, is vitally important. Everyone needs loving persons around them who will tell them what they need to hear in a spirit of love and grace. 

None of us do well with success unless we have humble and wise persons close to us who have the gumption and the grace to speak into our lives to help us, not hurt us. When we don’t have that, things go sideways.

I encourage you to go back and read Proverbs chapter 11 again, slowly, letting its wisdom seep into you. Also, a good practice is to read a chapter of Proverbs each day for the next month; and to occasionally, in the future, come back to this practice.

May the proverbial biblical wisdom fill your heart and your mind, so that you are able to make sage decisions in all of the various circumstances you encounter in this life. Amen.

Trust vs. Anxiety (Isaiah 30:15-18)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

The holy Lord God of Israel
    had told all of you,
“I will keep you safe
if you turn back to me
    and calm down.
I will make you strong
    if you quietly trust me.”

Then you stubbornly said,
“No! We will safely escape
    on speedy horses.”

But those who chase you
    will be even faster.
As few as five of them,
or even one, will be enough
    to chase a thousand of you.
Finally, all that will be left
    will be a few survivors
as lonely as a flag pole
    on a barren hill.

The Lord God is waiting
to show how kind he is
    and to have pity on you.
The Lord always does right;
he blesses those who trust him. (Contemporary English Version)

God’s plan for our lives calls for times of retreat and renewal, of quiet patience and perseverance, for restraint and waiting.

Ancient Judah was experiencing one of their many periods of rebellion toward God’s commands. One of the things that happens – whether in ancient times or today – is that whenever we go off the road of God’s ways, our lives become characterized by a grand self-help program.

Those in the Judean royal court could not wait on God. They had to do something about Assyria. The Assyrian Empire was waning, and Judah wanted to take advantage of it, seeing an opportunity for some relative autonomy.

So, many of the activists in the royal court rushed to Egypt for help – not at all considering to turn toward God and wait on the Lord. God blesses those who trust and wait on divine promises and initiative. But, in their anxiety, the people of Judah would not exercise faith and patience.

As a result, the enemy would overtake them. The people’s refusal to take the quiet course would not end well for them.

On many days, as I attend to the hospitals for which I work, I visit many hurting people, including patients, their families, and teammates. In my time there, I deal with a vast array of emotional problems, spiritual struggles, and mental disorders. One of things I have discovered through this work is that people’s internal issues absolutely need to be expressed, out loud, to someone who cares and knows what to do with those expressions.

And this is not only a modern problem; the need to deal with our internal stuff has been there throughout all of human history. Every culture and society who does not attend well to personal and communal spiritual health is literally killing their bodies – because body and soul are inextricably connected in a union as one.

It continually amazes me that people who think nothing of going to a medical doctor, an emergency room, or having a surgery, would never think of getting help when their minds are mixed up, emotions are frayed, and spirits are downcast.

Stubbornly holding onto self-help to handle a spiritual crisis, refusing help from others, and ignoring God, is just as sure to kill you as believing that chest pains, shortness of breath, and inability to walk across the room will simply get better on its own.

Conversely, isolating oneself and calling it “waiting on God” and remaining passive – when the Lord has clearly told us to be active – will accomplish the same ends as the committed self-help person. Faith and action are not mutually exclusive terms. It takes some wisdom to know when to retreat, pray, and be patient; and when to take initiatives of faith, and trust God to work through action.

Rebellion gets us nowhere. It’s what puts us in the awkwardness of making bad decisions and discernments. The Lord had told the people of Judah to stay put and not rely on Egypt to help them. There were clear instructions through the prophets about what to do. But the people were too anxious, too impatient, wondering too much about whether God would show up or not.

The Spirit God gave us does not make us afraid. His Spirit is a source of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7, ERV

No matter where we have been or what we have done, the Lord is continually waiting on us – and will consistently respond with grace and mercy to our petitions and overtures to live for God. It’s never too late to flee to God in quiet trust.

Running to God is not escaping our problems. Rather, the Lord enables us to face both our outward situations, as well as our inward thinking and feeling. It’s easy to engage in busywork and keep active when we are anxious; yet it is very difficult to sit still before God and be alone. Silence and solitude put us face to face with ourselves. And doing that is what many people would rather avoid.

“I’ll do it myself!” is the cry of many a person who is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelmed. That approach, however, is a highway to the grave. And, in fact, it is a stubborn rebellion that puts a stiff arm to God.

I’m not saying that opening-up is easy; I am stating that it is necessary to our spiritual and emotional health. It might be helpful to begin communicating with some vulnerability and authenticity to God. The following are some appropriate ways that might help:

  1. Be congruent between the outer self and inner self. Make sure your outside affect and behavior is congruent with your inside feelings and thoughts. If you are discouraged on the inside, but wear a smile and pretend to be spiritually with it, you’re not fooling God. You cannot receive grace apart from humble authenticity.
  2. Focus on feelings. You won’t get struck by lightning if you express your anger, or other emotions, to God. Be aware of how you are feeling. In fact, ask the Lord to help you understand your feelings. Share them openly as much as you can.
  3. Change questions into statements. Sometimes, when we have an attitude or a feeling, we’re afraid to say it and be open. So instead, we ask a question. Try changing questions such as “Do you love me?” into “I love you.” And, “Do you want me to do this?” to “I want to do your will.”
  4. Speak in the first person. Begin sentences with “I” instead of “you,” For example, ” I am happy that you are with me,” instead of asking, “Are you there?”
  5. Say out loud what you really want and need. It’s okay to do that. This is when it is appropriate to ask questions. The Lord’s ear is ready to listen.

Patient and confident trust in God is always a better option than anxious and nervous striving by yourself.

O God, the source of all health: So fill my heart with faith in your love, that with calm expectancy I may make room for your power to possess me, and gracefully accept your healing; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

What Do You Long For?

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Pastor Tim's PonderingsLeave a comment

Indeed, what do you long for? Before anything ever came into being, it was dreamed for. Everything that exists, had a beginning in the possibility of longing for it. I think it is inappropriate for me to ask you such a question, without first telling you what it is I long for. And there are so many things that I long for! Yet, I offer just a few of them…

I am a hospital chaplain. I dream of a healthcare system that values its caregivers so much that it does away with hierarchical organization. I imagine and visualize such a system taking psychological safety as seriously as physical safety. I long for healthcare administrations to establish the individual employee’s care – not in cheap talk of self-care – but in actual establishing of policy and procedure to ensure that care is realized.

For only in the consummate care of the caregiver, can care seekers receive what they truly need.

Such caregiver care toward the care seeker will translate into taking all the time needed to listen to the patient, practicing patience themselves in seeking to truly understand. With the caring caregiver full of attentive love, they can and will step back in thoughtful reflection for a gracious and effective care plan for the patient.

And, what’s more, they will follow up with equal motivation and attention in order to provide skillful love, precisely where it is needed and wanted. For all caregivers shall know that a “bedside manner” is not optional, but is as important to healing as the actual care plan which is on paper.

I am a church pastor. I dream of good and effective change and reformation for the Body of Christ, as well as all faith communities everywhere. I imagine churches and church leaders who bathe all things in prayerful conversation with God and others. I long for a church that truly cares for those struggling to make sense of faith, and gives ample and adequate space for faith seekers to express their doubts, feelings, and questions in a safe and supportive environment.

Such pastors, elders, deacons, and denominational leaders will give scant attention to the more secular matters of building needs, budget finances, and butts in the pew (which, of course, often emit the most foul odor, because they originate in the person who is a tedious fart). They will have the sweet smelling incense of mentoring others in the faith, attending to the needs of the community at large, and lifting up emotional and mental needs with equal passion alongside the physical and spiritual needs of people.

For only in the consummate care of the pastors and leaders, attending to their foundational needs of bodily care and exercise, mental and emotional health, and spiritual disciplines, can parishioners receive the holistic care they truly need in order to grow and mature in faith.

Oh, how I dream, imagine, and long for a world that exalts the holistic person – body, mind, feelings, and soul – so that everyone in everyplace on the earth realizes their God-given potential as people gifted to serve the holistic well-being of others.

All of us are but temporary sojourners on this earth. And this world which we inhabit is fundamentally broken. Let us long for better days, imagine those days in our mind’s eye, and dream into existence that which originally had its origin in the heart of God.

Longing is only realized through belonging. If we remain emotionally lonely, bodily disconnected, mentally rootless, and spiritually adrift, we’ll never know the confident hope of belonging to God and community. Until we participate with ancient and universal rhythms of being in this world together, we will continue to experience the things which are nightmares to us.

So, what do you long for? It really is neither an esoteric nor impractical question. It is the vital question of our time.