Tag: bitterness

The Wounded Healer (Psalm 18:1-6, 43-50)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
By French painter Georges Rouault (1871-1958)

I love you, Lord;
    you are my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.
I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
    and he saved me from my enemies.

The ropes of death entangled me;
    floods of destruction swept over me.
The grave wrapped its ropes around me;
    death laid a trap in my path.
But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
    yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
    my cry to him reached his ears…

You gave me victory over my accusers.
    You appointed me ruler over nations;
    people I don’t even know now serve me.
As soon as they hear of me, they submit;
    foreign nations cringe before me.
They all lose their courage
    and come trembling from their strongholds.

The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
    May the God of my salvation be exalted!
He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
    he subdues the nations under me
    and rescues me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
    you save me from violent opponents.
For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
    I will sing praises to your name.
You give great victories to your king;
    you show unfailing love to your anointed,
    to David and all his descendants forever. (New Living Translation)

King David, the psalmist, had no problem with publicly expressing his great feeling of love for God. His desire was to be thoroughly devoted to the Lord; and he confidently discerned God as the source of his strength.

What’s more, David freely recognized God as the One who brought him deliverance. David cried out in distress. In his despair and desperation, he looked to the Lord, and God responded.

This is in contrast to those who complain about God and consider the Lord as distant and uncaring – if existing at all. David’s experience was that of being heard by God. And he wanted everyone to know, so that the faithful may be encouraged.

David didn’t want people becoming discouraged because of the bitterness of others who accuse God of being unconcerned.

The psalmist was not just talking about some mundane request, like asking for parking spot close to the building. David was in a life-and-death situation, stressful beyond imagination. Things were not looking good for him.

It seemed that the insolent, who think God isn’t watching, believed they could act unjustly and do whatever they wanted. Sadly, their lust for power and control blinds them to the larger reality of an invisible God who sees, and who responds at just the right time.

David wanted people to remember and not to forget about the saving actions of God. Because by keeping in mind who God truly is, then we can have confident trust, and will live in a way that is right, just, and good.

“Our service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which we speak.”

Henri Nouwen

A good, right, and just life is always the appropriate response to divine mercy and deliverance. We are saved from evil, so that we might live in the spiritual freedom of purity and peace. And David gave God some due praise, adoration, and thanksgiving for rescuing him from his enemies.

Since David went through all of the adversity, hardship, stress, and suffering of dealing with unjust people, he was in a position to be a wounded healer for us.

A wounded healer is not someone who endorses a victim mentality. Rather, this is a person who has been profoundly hurt – physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually – and comes through the experience with an ability to be present with others and help facilitate healing in those who suffer.

Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5, NIV)

We all suffer and face various hard circumstances. And we are all changed by the hurtful encounters. But we don’t all respond the same way to that adversity. The difficult experiences of pain lead us to become either bitter or better.

If we have a wounded healer in our life, there is a good chance that we will be able to move through the hardship and come to a place of gratitude for what the Lord has done for us and how God brought us deliverance.

“As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.”

Henri Nouwen

Deliverance may not end up looking like anything we anticipate. If we are stuck on particular outcomes and have a singular expectation, then we may very well miss the Rescuer when the ship of salvation shows up.

Yet, if we can remain open to and aware of God – as well as of what’s going on inside us – then we shall likely experience healing for our deep wounds of pain. And we will embrace the scars it leaves as a reminder of the Lord’s deliverance.

It could be that things don’t change, at least like we want. In such times, perhaps the greatest healing that can take place is to be healed from the need for healing.

The Lord shows unfailing commitment and steadfast love to the faithful, to those who seek God. We shall find the divine in all circumstances, that is, if we seek God with all our heart.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13, NIV)

Pain cannot be taken away unless we enter into it. So, it only makes sense to me, that we have a guide like the psalmist to lead us, and a Savior like Jesus to rescue us.

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.”

Carl Jung

May you be patient in suffering, as Christ was in his earthly pain.

May the Lord be near you in your time of weakness and wondering.

May God sustain you by divine grace, and grant you courage not to have a failure of faith.

May you know healing of both body and soul.

And may you always believe that what happens to you in this present life is of little account if you hold Christ in eternal life. Amen.

Dealing with Another’s Evil Intentions (1 Samuel 19:18-24)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David and Saul, by He Qi

When David had fled and made his escape, he went to Samuel at Ramah and told him all that Saul had done to him. Then he and Samuel went to Naioth and stayed there. 

Word came to Saul: “David is in Naioth at Ramah;” so he sent men to capture him. But when they saw a group of prophets prophesying, with Samuel standing there as their leader, the Spirit of God came on Saul’s men, and they also prophesied. 

Saul was told about it, and he sent more men, and they prophesied too. Saul sent men a third time, and they also prophesied. Finally, he himself left for Ramah and went to the great cistern at Seku. And he asked, “Where are Samuel and David?”

“Over in Naioth at Ramah,” they said.

So Saul went to Naioth at Ramah. But the Spirit of God came even on him, and he walked along prophesying until he came to Naioth. He stripped off his garments, and he too prophesied in Samuel’s presence. He lay naked all that day and all that night. This is why people say, “Is Saul also among the prophets?” (New International Version)

King Saul was in the middle of a personal downward spiral of evil. And David was his target. Even though David served Israel and the king with distinction and bravery, his success aroused the jealousy of Saul.

It came to the point that David needed to flee for his life because Saul saw him as a threat and was out to kill him. Instead of trying to go it alone, feeling angry and defeated, David went to the one person he knew was wise, discerning, and could help: Samuel, the priest and prophet of Israel.

David was not looking to kill Saul, as Saul was trying to kill him. He just needed someone to talk to, some empathy and solid help in this very unwanted and awful situation.

As we move through the biblical narratives which tell of Saul and David, we will observe that God is with David and helps him through his travails; but God is not with Saul, who is continually haunted with a bad spirit whenever he descends into the dark path of jealousy, anger, even murder.

It is only human to wonder why people of faith, with good and genuine hearts, must contend with such self-absorbed narcissistic people like Saul. We can only answer it in part: the presence of evil in the world; the place of trials and tribulations in the believer’s life, etc. For the most part, it is a mystery for which we shall not have answers, this side of heaven.

But what we do know is that God is concerned for the godly, for those who seek to do right, have pure hearts, and think of the common good of all the people. And the Lord can deal with evil, while protecting the good, in quite unexpected ways.

We expect prophets to prophesy. We don’t expect anyone else to necessarily do so. Yet, in this story, we see God sending the spirit of prophetic speech not just upon the prophets and the good folk, but upon those who have ill intentions toward the godly ones.

Yes, the Lord sent a spirit upon people who were trying to kill David, and then even upon Saul himself; not to illumine, but to prevent. The power of prophecy in this instance was not a sign of being chosen by God, but a clear sign from God of rejection.

In stripping off his clothes and laying naked in prophetic utterance, Saul was being humbled, abased, and mortified. Decades later, King David would do so willingly as a repentant person. But here, King Saul does so unwillingly, as an unrepentant person who needs to let himself be among the penitent persons. But, alas, Saul did not do so, and was continually moved by other forces other than the Lord.

For the believer who is in the throes of a gaslighting boss, or a narcissistic leader, or a self-centered relative, today’s story is an encouragement: God’s will on this earth shall prevail; and the Lord will take care of those who desire to live a just, right, and good life.

Conflict and trouble must not necessarily result in one’s devastation and discouragement.

Whenever we find ourselves in the crosshairs of an evil person, we do not need to add to the madness with harsh and divisive words.

Instead, we can be sober-minded and good-hearted by handling the adverse situation with gentle words and a wise spirit. We can face the trouble, without wishing it away, by going to a wise person for counsel and help, if need be.

The mark of a truly good person is not whether they have conflict in their life, or not, but by how they handle the trouble when it comes. And as for the troublemakers and chaotic people themselves, the Lord knows how to deal with them.

You may be in an unwanted situation, dealing with a difficult person. Please don’t let that person steal your personal integrity and happiness from you. The one thing you can always control – that nobody can ever take away from you – is your own attitude and ability to respond.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

You and I really can deal with this. If the hurt was unintentional, then forgive and let it go. If the hurt was intentional, we need not be judge, jury, and/or executioner. That’s God’s job, not ours. Rather, we can choose to forgive and not hold onto bitterness; talk with a wise person to receive wise counsel, and not spread anger and slander; and determine to be joyful and godly, not sullen and irritable.

O Lord God almighty, listen to the prayer of the righteous! Direct the way of your servants in safety under your gracious divine protection, so that through all of the changes of our earthly pilgrimage, we may be guarded by your mighty help and power. Amen.

In the Middle of Trouble (1 Samuel 19:8-17)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Saul and David, by Rembrandt, c.1655

Once more war broke out, and David went out and fought the Philistines. He struck them with such force that they fled before him.

But an evil spirit from the Lord came on Saul as he was sitting in his house with his spear in his hand. While David was playing the lyre, Saul tried to pin him to the wall with his spear, but David eluded him as Saul drove the spear into the wall. That night David made good his escape.

Saul sent men to David’s house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, “If you don’t run for your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed.” So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. Then Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed, covering it with a garment and putting some goats’ hair at the head.

When Saul sent the men to capture David, Michal said, “He is ill.”

Then Saul sent the men back to see David and told them, “Bring him up to me in his bed so that I may kill him.” But when the men entered, there was the idol in the bed, and at the head was some goats’ hair.

Saul said to Michal, “Why did you deceive me like this and send my enemy away so that he escaped?”

Michal told him, “He said to me, ‘Let me get away. Why should I kill you?’ (New International Version)

We humans are living in a fallen world and a broken planet. Conflict and trouble is certain. It’s not a matter of if we are going to face it, but when. How will we handle conflict when it comes?

Saul’s Jealousy of David

King Saul had a growing jealousy of David. It became bad enough that Saul tried to arrange things so that David would be killed on a Philistine battlefield. But that plan completely backfired, and David became even more successful.

In Saul’s downward spiritual and emotional spiral, he brazenly created intentional conflict in order to do away with David altogether. Fortunately, Saul’s son Jonathan talked his father down peacefully. David was restored to the king’s court and out of trouble, at least for the moment.

Little did Jonathan realize how far gone his father had become. The incident of Saul telling his soldiers to kill David proved to still be an open case. It didn’t take Saul very long to renege on his promise to Jonathan, and actively went back to his old jealous ways.

David Eludes Saul’s Spear

Saul’s Attempt on David, by Gustave Doré, 1877

There was a direct relationship between David’s good spirit of integrity and success, and the wicked spirit which came upon Saul. King Saul, in his anger toward David and disobedience toward God, had clearly given ground to evil in his life.

Saul could not get a grip on his jealous feelings, and was ticked-off that David’s popularity kept growing, no matter the situation. In a fit of impulsive rage, Saul hurled his spear at David. Since David was agile, and Saul was a bad thrower, a tragic death was avoided.

At that point, David realized he needed to get out and stay away for good. David was in one of those rare situations in which a person may be so hell bent on damaging another person that drastic measures need to be taken.

Michal Helps David Escape

Most conflicts are, of course, complicated. And it’s not unusual for trouble to be a family affair. Michal was Saul’s daughter, which made David Saul’s son-in-law (and for Saul, David’s outlaw). It seems that the marriage arrangement was originally made so that Saul could keep a close eye on his rival.

Michal understood her father well enough to know that Saul meant business in handling David. So, she set up a plan for her husband’s escape, and covered for him to dear old dad.

Michal Saves David from Saul, by Marc Chagall, 1960

It appears we start to get a glimpse of insight into Michal’s character. Her possession of household gods, along with her ability to be an effective liar in order to save her own neck, ought to give us some pause. As the story of David develops in the biblical narratives, we will indeed see Michal’s true colors.

Thus far in the life of David, we see an innocent man treated unfairly and unjustly. Yet, we get no hint of bitterness or revenge from him. Instead, here is a guy who only tried to do what is best for his people Israel, and most of all, live faithfully to his God.

In contrast, Saul became increasingly frustrated and bitter, not looking to the Lord who put him on the throne. Instead, he made devious plans to destroy a man who was only trying to do him good.

Conclusion

Self-centered jealousy and bitter anger poisons a person’s spirit and turns it toward evil. If left unchecked and unchanged, it becomes gangrene of the soul. And when that happens, the only option is to cut off the affected damaged dead part. Like a withered tree or vine, it is uprooted and thrown into the fire.

Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” (John 15:5-6, NIV)

Please be encouraged to know that if you are in the middle of a conflict you didn’t cause with a person who seems not to care, it doesn’t have to result in you becoming despondent, damaged, or destroyed.

No matter the circumstance, the consistent path of the faithful person is humility, gentleness, righteousness, mercy, purity, and peace. Situations will change, and people may be fickle; but your consistent daily walk of faith need not deviate at all.

Because God is with us, and the Lord loves us, we can handle and endure anything from anyone.

Listen to my prayer.
    I am so weak.
Save me from those who are chasing me.
    They are stronger than I am.
Help me escape this trap,
    so that I can praise your name.
Then good people will celebrate with me,
    because you took care of me. Amen. (Psalm 142:6-7, ERV)

Don’t Forget about Kindness and Truth (Proverbs 3:1-12)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment

My child, do not forget my teaching,
    but keep my commands in mind.
Then you will live a long time,
    and your life will be successful.

Don’t ever forget kindness and truth.
    Wear them like a necklace.
    Write them on your heart as if on a tablet.
Then you will be respected
    and will please both God and people.

Trust the Lord with all your heart,
    and don’t depend on your own understanding.
Remember the Lord in all you do,
    and he will give you success.

Don’t depend on your own wisdom.
    Respect the Lord and refuse to do wrong.
Then your body will be healthy,
    and your bones will be strong.

Honor the Lord with your wealth
    and the first fruits from all your crops.
Then your barns will be full,
    and your wine barrels will overflow with new wine.

My child, do not reject the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t get angry when he corrects you.
The Lord corrects those he loves,
    just as parents correct the child they delight in. (New Century Version)

There is no wisdom apart from humility. And humility can only be accessed through being authentic and vulnerable. The proud person doesn’t look to God (or others) because they think they already know what is best and can figure out things without anyone’s help.

Wisdom is a skill that is attained through learning and application, over an extended period of time. The wise person has a solid body of knowledge, and is able to take that know-how and apply it to real life situations.

For the skill of wisdom to be realized, we must first take the posture of a child. We need to listen well, and humbly receive instruction. Without this initial mindset and heart attitude, wisdom will forever be elusive.

Then, when we learn and gain understanding, it’s imperative that we remember it. This is why the best learning engages all of our senses; it presses needed information deep inside us, so that what comes out of us is right, just, and good.

Concerning the Christian life, we can only obey commands which we know. So, it’s important to learn and retain the commands of God. This is one reason why I read my Bible every day; my mind and heart need the continual refreshment and recalling of Holy Scripture’s insight and instruction. I want to be so full of God’s good commands that if you cut me, I bleed Bible.

Kindness and truth are to be worn like a big gaudy necklace around our necks – so that we will always have in front of us what’s most important in living our lives.

The reason so many people are continually at odds with one another is that kindness and truth are neither acknowledged nor remembered. But you cannot have good relations without basic human kindness and a commitment to truth. Put another way, being gruff and mean, and fudging on reality, will not only get you nowhere, but it will also bring a profound lack of success in life.

That stubborn meanness and inattention to truth comes from spending way too much time alone in one’s head. Left alone for too long, every one of us will come up with all kinds of goofy thinking that we believe is the truth. But it’s really only craziness born of a tremendous lack of healthy interaction with others.

At some point, everyone must eventually trust the Lord – who is kindness and truth itself. Going it alone is not an option, that is, unless we want to be lonely, messed-up in the head, and miserable in both body and soul.

Let’s get real. Often, the reason why so many of us choose a path of arrogant pride, radical independence, and selfish loneliness is because we simply do not want to be hurt.

Someone, some group, or many persons have hurt us, and we’re determined to never be hurt and to hurt like that again. So, we shut others out – including God.

We may not go the route of becoming actual hermits, but we build invisible walls which no one can scale. This is why the loneliest people are actually around other people – they’ve shut them out emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, even though they are next to them physically.

Persons who take such a route to living eventually discover that, although they may have avoided the sort of pain they feared, a new kind of suffering is experienced. And it’s the kind of suffering that gnaws at your insides and slowly kills you.

Little does one know, but the fear, anger, and hatred morphs into a bitterness which becomes gangrene of the soul. The person dies a little bit at a time in an agonizing existence. We all must endure pain; it’s just a matter of what sort of pain we will accept: the bad kind or the good kind.

A good sort of hurt is the pain of healing, of making things right, of committing oneself to reconciliation and peace. It’s a soreness of being corrected by Holy Scripture and God’s directives, a suffering that will truly lead to life, not death.

So, what will it be? The book of Proverbs calls us to make a choice, not only between good and bad, but a choice of better and best, and of accepting the sort of pain that helps us grow; or rejecting that and enduring a debilitating hurt that damages deeply, maybe even permanently.

Let go of the pride and adopt humility. Become a student of wisdom. Take up the necklaces of kindness and truth. Honor God with a life full of experiential knowledge and devotion to the betterment of humanity. Learn to trust the Lord and others who are trustworthy. Know what it feels like to be merciful, pure, and peacemaking.

You may just find that the old tools of cynicism, sarcasm, skepticism, distrust, and unbelief become lost in the mental junk drawer of things rarely, if ever, used.

Lord Jesus Christ, you prayed for your friends that they would be one as you and your Father are one. We confess our resistance to your prayer. We have failed to maintain the unity of the Spirit. We have broken the bond of peace.