Tag: bitterness

The Almighty Has Dealt Bitterly with Me (Ruth 1:18-22)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Statue of Ruth and Naomi, by Leonard Baskin (1922-2000)

When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them,

“Call me no longer Naomi;
    call me Mara,
    for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me.
I went away full,
    but the Lord has brought me back empty;
why call me Naomi
    when the Lord has dealt harshly with me
    and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

So Naomi returned together with Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, who came back with her from the country of Moab. They came to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest. (New Revised Standard Version)

A famine in Judah had brought Naomi and her husband Elimelech to the country of Moab. While there, they had two sons who eventually married two Moabite women: Orpah and Ruth. Over time, each of the husbands died, leaving Naomi and her two daughters-in-law as widows.

Naomi heard that things were finally better in her native Judah. So, she decided to go there, alone. Naomi encouraged her daughters-in-law to remain with their own people and remarry. Orpah did so. Ruth, however, wasn’t having it.

Ruth was determined to stay with her mother-in-law – which meant that she would enter Judah as a foreigner. Despite Naomi’s insistence that Ruth do what is best for herself, Ruth stuck with Naomi.

Once they arrived, the people of Naomi’s hometown were surprised to see the two of them. Naomi was not shy about communicating her bitterness in losing a husband and two sons. She commented that God had turned against her and made her life hard and bitter.

In saying that the Lord had emptied her and brought calamity, Naomi was not speaking against God. Rather, Naomi was expressing some significant theology that has become lost to many modern day Christians around the globe.

Ruth and Naomi, by Morris Nathanson (1927-2022)

I believe that Ruth was not expressing something malevolent about God, but rather made a statement of faithful recognition, not unlike what Job had to say when he lost his family and his health:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21, NRSV)

No one can escape the dark side of life. Yet, we can deal with that darkness intelligently. It is most necessary to be aware that light creates a shadow that was not there before. The bigger and brighter the light, the bigger and darker the shadow.

There is a centuries old idiom which says, “You can’t have your cake, and eat it, too!” This is a proverbial way of saying that we cannot expect everything to always be good in this life; we must also accept that we cannot always have our way, and that we will go without, experiencing loss.

Whether we want to acknowledge it, or not, an integral part of life is receiving some bad things from God. The Lord does not just go around dispensing everyone’s wishes and making everything a utopia of unicorns and butterflies.

God is most certainly benevolent; yet God also brings darkness to people. We cannot have the Light of the world without experiencing the world’s darkness. Another way of stating this is that a very big God creates quite a large shadow.

In Christianity, the predominant symbol is the cross. The Cross of Christ is both light and dark. Christians may reflexively associate the cross with salvation from sin, while forgetting that the cross is an instrument of torture and death, a tool of execution, like an electric chair.

We must honor the axis crossing at the center of the cross. It is the place of equilibrium, the place of wholeness, where we have the opportunity of integrating all of that unwanted grief and loss into our lives. Failing to do this, let alone neglecting to acknowledge the shadowy places of our hearts, brings harm and hurt to ourselves and to the world.

Naomi acknowledged the shadow. She accepted the darkness, which enabled her to return to her homeland of Judah, the very place where the God of light and dark is worshiped.

I’m not talking about the sort of darkness that is malevolent and mean-spirited, the darkness which comes from Satan. I’m talking about the darkness which weans us away from all things and the ways that hinder us from knowing God.

This is what St. John of the Cross was referring to in naming the dark night of the soul. In our quest to experience union with God, we journey through the darkness, and learn that purification isn’t simply putting something impure away. Purity of heart comes through joining with the God who is pure love itself.

“In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.”

St. John of the Cross

God loves us so much as to be nailed to a cross and suffer darkness. The Christian is to take up their cross and follow Jesus. That is, we embrace the darkness with an honest engagement of God and God’s world, and through a vulnerable assessment of our own shadow.

For if we fail to acknowledge our shadow, we shall fail to be in union with God.

Not only do many people disown the parts of themselves they don’t like, but they do the same with God – thus making God into their own image of how God should be, instead of taking God as God is.

If you have ears to hear, take this to heart: To accept and honor your own shadow is a profound and necessary spiritual discipline. By “shadow” I mean all of the characteristics of myself that I withhold from others, so that they will only see what I want them to see.

We often put a false self out into the world, for others to see. It is a sort of psychological clothing we wear, much as we have actual clothing. Whether the clothes are real or metaphorical, we dress ourselves in the particular way we want to be seen.

Naomi was a true Israelite, showing her honest true self. There was no separation or division between the inner self and the self she presented to others.

I tend to think that Naomi knew something about God that many don’t know today – and was therefore able to be faithful to both her people and her God.

It is no wonder, then, that Ruth wanted to remain with her mother-in-law Naomi, who was a real person acknowledging the real God.

Almighty God and Father, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen: You are the God of light who illumines our way. And You are the God of darkness who is shadowed in mystery. In knowing You, may I know myself; and in knowing myself, may I more fully know You. Amen.

Dealing with Injustice (1 Kings 1:28-48)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Bathsheba appeals to David, by Arent de Gelder, c.1685

Then King David said, “Call in Bathsheba.” So she came into the king’s presence and stood before him.

The king then took an oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, who has delivered me out of every trouble, I will surely carry out this very day what I swore to you by the Lord, the God of Israel: Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he will sit on my throne in my place.”

Then Bathsheba bowed down with her face to the ground, prostrating herself before the king, and said, “May my lord King David live forever!”

King David said, “Call in Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet and Benaiah son of Jehoiada.” When they came before the king, he said to them: “Take your lord’s servants with you and have Solomon my son mount my own mule and take him down to Gihon. There have Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet anoint him king over Israel. Blow the trumpet and shout, ‘Long live King Solomon!’ Then you are to go up with him, and he is to come and sit on my throne and reign in my place. I have appointed him ruler over Israel and Judah.”

Benaiah son of Jehoiada answered the king, “Amen! May the Lord, the God of my lord the king, so declare it. As the Lord was with my lord the king, so may he be with Solomon to make his throne even greater than the throne of my lord King David!”

So Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet, Benaiah son of Jehoiada, the Kerethites and the Pelethites went down and had Solomon mount King David’s mule, and they escorted him to Gihon. Zadok the priest took the horn of oil from the sacred tent and anointed Solomon. Then they sounded the trumpet and all the people shouted, “Long live King Solomon!” And all the people went up after him, playing pipes and rejoicing greatly, so that the ground shook with the sound.

Adonijah and all the guests who were with him heard it as they were finishing their feast. On hearing the sound of the trumpet, Joab asked, “What’s the meaning of all the noise in the city?”

Even as he was speaking, Jonathan son of Abiathar the priest arrived. Adonijah said, “Come in. A worthy man like you must be bringing good news.”

“Not at all!” Jonathan answered. “Our lord King David has made Solomon king. The king has sent with him Zadok the priest, Nathan the prophet, Benaiah son of Jehoiada, the Kerethites and the Pelethites, and they have put him on the king’s mule, and Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet have anointed him king at Gihon. From there they have gone up cheering, and the city resounds with it. That’s the noise you hear. Moreover, Solomon has taken his seat on the royal throne. Also, the royal officials have come to congratulate our lord King David, saying, ‘May your God make Solomon’s name more famous than yours and his throne greater than yours!’ And the king bowed in worship on his bed and said, ‘Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has allowed my eyes to see a successor on my throne today.’” (New International Version)

Solomon at the deathbed of King David, by Giulio Romano (1499-1546)

One of King David’s sons, Adonijah, was a stinker. He tried to pull a fast one on his aging father, in order to try and take the throne. But some of the people caught wind of what was afoot.

Even Nathan the prophet got involved and gave some sage instructions to Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, so that the king’s wishes could come to fruition – namely, that Solomon would succeed David.

As a result, despite King David’s struggles toward the end of life, he had enough wherewithal to attempt some decisive leadership. He confirmed Solomon as his royal successor.

Despite Adonijah’s attempt to take advantage of his father’s failing capacity and execute a coup d’état, the king immediately took action by anointing and enthroning Solomon without any delay.

The installation of Solomon as king was accomplished so quickly that it caught the conniving Adonijah and his cohorts off guard. King David may have lost several steps in his old age, but he was still someone to be reckoned with. That underestimation would cost the connivers dearly.

To be honest, I don’t like Adonijah. And that’s what the storyteller wants us to feel. We are meant to read the narrative and walk away saying to ourselves that we don’t want to be like Adonijah; we don’t want injustice to have the day; instead, we want King David’s wishes honored, and to see a just and right Ruler ensconced as king.

The Lord is a just God. And since we are people created in God’s image and likeness, we have an inherent sense of justice down deep inside us. So, it drives people nuts whenever there are things happening which are not right nor good.

Everyone faces injustice, and things that are not right, in this life. The trick is to deal with it, without becoming unjust ourselves. It’s not an easy thing to do. It’s tough. So, how do we maintain being just while handling injustice?

The feeling of helplessness is rather uncomfortable, even painful. It doesn’t feel good to think that your efforts at doing right and being just don’t accomplish much of anything, and are only a drop in the bucket of what’s needed. It also doesn’t feel right whenever we see others going through injustice, and we have little to no way in helping the situation.

The first step in dealing with the world’s injustice is to acknowledge it. Don’t purposely ignore it, avoid it, or pretend that it isn’t there. Everything in life must be acknowledged before anything can be done about it – whether it’s dealing with an event, or your own emotions.

So, it is imperative that your care for yourself. And it’s the most important thing in being of service and help to others. Attend to the whole self – body, mind, emotions, and spirit – because it is necessary in order to move through unjust circumstances with health, confidence, and sobriety.

When facing injustice and dealing with it, no matter whether it concerns yourself or another, it’s good to keep in mind that our brains tend to gravitate toward the negative, to the detriment of seeing good and positive things.

Therefore, we must work at keeping our “compassion quotient” high, and not let our compassion turn to fatigue, then burn-out.

It seems that King David continually worked on maintaining a robust spirit and healthy self, so that, even when he was old, his compassionate and wise instincts kicked in – the ones he had spent a lifetime developing.

In contrast, Adonijah appears to have nurtured a self-centered and bitter spirit. He did not attend well to his spiritual and emotional health. His mind turned to the dark thoughts of intrigue and rebellion. Arrogance clouded his right mind. This would not end well for him.

Dealing with injustice is never easy. And it very much requires us to be healthy and just ourselves, so that when we are faced with issues of justice, we can deal with them in a good and right manner.

Almighty God, you have given all peoples one common origin.
It is your will that they be gathered together
as one family in yourself.
Fill the hearts of humanity with the fire of your love
and with the desire to ensure justice for all.
By sharing the good things you give us,
may we secure an equality for all
our brothers and sisters throughout the world.
May there be an end to division, strife and war.
May there be a dawning of a truly human society
built on love and peace. Amen.

Absalom’s Conspiracy (2 Samuel 15:1-13)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
Absalom propitiating friends, painted 1595, in the National Museum, Warsaw, Poland

In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.”

Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.

At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: ‘If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.’”

The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he went to Hebron.

Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, ‘Absalom is king in Hebron.’” Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter. While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing.

A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.” (New International Version)

Although Absalom, a son of David, began to despise his father, he learned some things from him, namely, the ability to wait and plan. He spent two years preparing to kill his half-brother Amnon, and four years getting ready to kill his father and take his throne.

I’m sure Absalom did not feel like a murderer. He likely looked at the situations and felt justified in doing away with Amnon, then going after David. To be sure, Amnon had committed a heinous crime – one in which Tamar, Absalom’s sister, was left bereft, only to be cared for by her brother. Absalom seems to have believed he was merely dispensing justice, not murder.

David, typically astute and proactive, was anything but that when it came to his family; he did not initiate very much of anything. The king’s inaction was so profound that Absalom began plotting a takeover. As in the case of Amnon, it’s likely that Absalom saw forming a conspiracy as bringing some needed justice.

After all, it appears that King David had become lax in his royal responsibilities. Seemingly, David was no longer himself – deciding cases in favor of the weak, needy, and vulnerable. Absalom was more than happy to fill the void.

Absalom evidenced an oversized ego in believing that if he were the judge in the land, everything would be okay. Whenever a person who feels the smack of injustice begins interacting with others who have not been receiving justice, rarely does that person rely upon the Divine Judge for righteousness. Absalom took matters into his own hands.

Whenever we hear the cry “It’s not fair!” there is often, not far behind, an angry person seeking to become judge, jury, and executioner.

So, Absalom worked the crowd. He spent years refining his image, and presenting the sort of reputation he sought from the people. Absalom was handsome and charming. The country became putty in his hands.

What nobody knew was that Absalom had an axe to grind, that underneath the silver tongue and the careful marketing opportunities was a person who was downright hurt, and mad enough to destroy and kill.

Finally, he began implementing his plot for taking over the kingdom. And he would need all the appearances of royal approval from some people in high positions. A religious banquet with a few hundred people, including David’s trusted counselor, would do the trick. The plan was to gain enough endorsements to gain momentum for others to join the conspiracy.

And it worked. The hearts of the people were with Absalom. They loved the guy.

Yet, the thing about it is, it wasn’t so much that Absalom loved the people, near as much as he hated his father, King David.

For the truly right, just, and good people of the land, they could observe the distinction. They knew better. The good people of the kingdom could discern that Absalom may look good, but something didn’t smell right about him.

No matter how flawed David was, or how much he had slipped in his duties, he was still nevertheless the king, the anointed one whom God had chosen. And the wise people could keep their wits about them, and begin to see what was really going on.

Anyone who comes along and tells us that they can make everything better, and do it quickly, is probably a hack preacher who, like Absalom, has a grievance against someone.

We can do better than leaders like that. And we can do better than to incessantly criticize existing leadership – no matter where it’s found – until we have done our due diligence in spending years in prayer for our leaders, and done what we could do to help them be successful in their positions.

Nurturing bitterness and hate is a one way trip to the grave. The evidence is seen in the constant vitriol we hear on a daily basis. But cultivating wisdom and discernment, along with a healthy spiritual and religious life, brings sanity and compassion where it needs to be.

Which way do you want to go?

Blessed heavenly Father: Forgive me for the things in my life which continue to keep me from the path you have chosen for me. Remove the sins from my life that block me from becoming the person you want me to be. Fill my life with your Holy Spirit that I may be a light unto others, so that they may come to know you. Amen.

This Is No Time for Bitterness (2 Samuel 3:31-38)

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Christian Spirituality Blog, Daily Bible Reading Blog, Year BLeave a comment
David at the tomb of Abner, by Unknown Artist, 1850

Then David said to Joab and all the people with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and walk in mourning in front of Abner.” King David himself walked behind the bier. They buried Abner in Hebron, and the king wept aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept also.

The king sang this lament for Abner:

“Should Abner have died as the lawless die?
    Your hands were not bound,
    your feet were not fettered.
You fell as one falls before the wicked.”

And all the people wept over him again.

Then they all came and urged David to eat something while it was still day; but David took an oath, saying, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I taste bread or anything else before the sun sets!”

All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them. So on that day all the people there and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner.

Then the king said to his men, “Do you not realize that a commander and a great man has fallen in Israel this day? (New International Version)

To put it succinctly, Abner was a rascal. He was smart and savvy, as well as self-centered and treacherous. Abner was the general of Israel’s armies. In his shrewdness, Abner knew that King David of Judah would eventually win out.

So, he set things up to sell-out his position with Ish-Bosheth, the king of Israel, and bring all of Israel and Judah together as one people. Then, he would be the general in a united kingdom under David.

However, Abner had burned some bridges in his day, and created some enemies. Joab was one of them, David’s general. What’s more, Joab was loyal to King David and did not have intentions like those of Abner. All of this (and more) stirred within Joab, as Abner and David talked through a transition plan.

Joab was a bitter man. He and his brother Abishai did not like their king consorting with Abner. Abner had killed their brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon. Bitterness turned Joab into a myopic person who could only see his own perspective. So he and his brother murdered Abner without David’s knowledge. Abner was a stinker in a lot of ways. But he didn’t go around murdering people, and he himself didn’t deserve to be murdered.

When David found out, he chose not to channel his anger into another murder. Instead, he wisely focused on grieving the loss of Abner and demonstrating to all Israel and Judah what sort of king he really was.

“Many people suffer because of the false supposition on which they have based their lives. That supposition is that there should be no fear or loneliness, no confusion or doubt. But these sufferings can only be dealt with creatively when they are understood as wounds integral to our human condition.” Henri Nouwen

Far too many people allow their spiritual and emotional wounds to fester – eventually poisoning their own character. With the illness of bitterness, someone is always bound to get hurt.

We all have to contend with adverse situations and hard circumstances. Our doubts, wonderings, hurts, and suffering may be legitimate, yet if addressed in an illegitimate way, those things become emotional wounds that seek to wound others.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV)

David had no picnic for a life. Saul had tried to repeatedly kill him, hunting David down like an animal. After Saul was killed in battle, there were all sorts of shenanigans going on with people like Abner and Joab. This was no idyllic setting for David to set up a kingdom.

And yet, David made it work by not succumbing to the bitterness which was so easy for others. King David did something different. He seemed to understand that his own woundedness, sufferings, and doubt was the place for personal and spiritual growth – a way of connecting with God.

The hurts which David acquired in his life never became a source of shame to him. Instead, those things became a source of healing – which made him a wounded healer who was able to rule Israel and Judah with mercy, wisdom, and justice.

For us, the same thing can happen. All of the stuff we’ve been through, from people who intended harm for us, doesn’t have to end with being poisoned by bitterness. Our actual woundedness can become the place where we bless the world.

Indeed, ‘tis our weaknesses which give us our true strength.

Bitterness, on the other hand, may fuel some anger and give us a false sense of strength; but it’s only really a matter of time until we implode. And before that happens, the bitter person will likely take down others with the inevitable spit of poison which is vomited up from the pit of their serpentine belly.

We are, like David, to take a different path in dealing with the troubles brought upon us by others:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32, NIV)

The road to a better life is full of twists and turns, and fraught with severe potholes and downed trees. But the road to a bitter life is quite easy, straight and paved perfectly smooth with asphalt. The problem is that it is a one way highway to the cemetery.

The clock is ticking, and it’s no time for bitterness. Which road will you take?

Blessed God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, please don’t let our appropriate anger morph into destructive revenge. Don’t let our raw hurts become a festering and putrid abscess of the soul, which is bent on getting even—repaying harm for harm, evil for evil, and death for death.

Holy Spirit, our Companion and Counselor, don’t let our hearts become gardens for the roots of resentment, growing into bushes of bitterness. Give us, instead, the desire to forgive others. May redemption and restoration have their way in us, through Christ our Lord. Amen.