Category: Exploring Church Ministry Blog

Shame

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            There is a vulnerability crisis in the church today.  What I mean is that far too many Christians keep up appearances and keep their human interactions on the surface level.  Simple exhortations to not be that way will do no good because at the root of the behavior is shame.  If we want to have healthy behaviors in the church, Christians will need to have their identities fully based upon the person and work of Jesus Christ.
 
            Shame is a mindset, not a behavior.  It is the notion that something is wrong with your personhood.  It is to believe that somehow you are deficient, defective, or worthless as a person.  It is to not have the ability to distinguish between what I do and who I am.  When we live with a sense of shame (either knowingly or subconsciously) we are setting ourselves up to practice idolatry.  If we really think there is something wrong with our very humanity, we will seek something to base our value and acceptance upon.  This is why the workaholic cannot stop working, because he believes that by much effort, hard work, and productivity it will make up for the deficiencies in his life.  Others will then accept him.  Indeed, he will accept himself.  This is also why so few people take Sabbath breaks or take advantage of a day off or even all their vacation time.  After all, they feel too guilty if they are idle.
 
            People who live with a sense of shame do not realize that they have the right to set personal boundaries.  If you have a terrible time of saying “no” to people, then it is a good bet that there is some level of shame working underneath the surface.  It just seems selfish to such people to refuse a request.  Living with shame is awful because one feels as though she is simply not good enough as a person compared to others.  The over-responsible, over-achieving, over-functioning person is compulsive about doing things perfectly well so as to avoid feeling ashamed of poor performance.  Conversely, others avoid responsibility, under-achieve, and under-function in the belief that if they were to do the job they will surely fail – so best to not do it at all.
 
            The real problem with all this is that it is a performance-based life.  And, so, it is crippling.  Always wondering if you measure up is a depressing way to live.  Unfortunately, there are far too many performance-based churches out there which shame people for struggling, asking honest questions, not complying with man-made rules, and not being like everyone else.  If I have not made it clear enough yet, trying harder does nothing to break the cycle of shame.  Satan has enough of the world on a self-improvement path; let’s put ourselves on God’s path to freedom.
 
            If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).  Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed (James 5:16).  Jesus has taken our shame away because he faced it down and achieved the victory for us that we could not achieve ourselves.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2).  The cross may have been a humiliating experience, but Jesus did not let that stop him from bringing us salvation from sin and shame.
 

 

            We do not need to wear our hearts on our sleeves in order to become more vulnerable with one another.  Struggles with life do not mean we are defective – it just means we are real people.  Unless we come to grips with scorning shame, we will live stunted Christian lives in plastic Christian churches.  Only through embracing the truth about ourselves, and accepting Christ’s sacrifice on our part, will we experience genuine spiritual and emotional freedom.  There is no need to live in the isolation of shame.  Our identity is in Jesus.

The Church and Bible Interpretation

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment



            I admit from the outset that not everyone is going to agree with me, or like what I say on the subject of interpreting Holy Scripture.  I might even get downright under your skin.  But this is an important discussion because no matter what church tradition we come from, there is going to be disagreement as to how to deal with certain Bible verses.  In fact, most parishioners within the same local church do not even agree on how to treat particular passages of Scripture.  Just so you know, I was trained in a seminary that largely looked through the lens or the starting point of biblical authority, as if we had the right view on it all.  Biblical authority, however, is not really the issue, in my opinion.  Before you pick up electronic stones, hear me out.  The issue, as I see it, is this:

 
No matter who we are, we pick and choose what Bible passages are authoritative and which are not.
 
Although we Christians say the Bible is our authority, we all have what I would deem as “boss verses.”  That is, verses which control other verses.  For example, I take Matthew 28:18-20 as boss verses that control other verses.  Because of this, I am not willing to concede that the mission of the church is primarily about something other than making disciples.
 
            Okay, you might be with me so far.  So, let’s pick a hot potato: gays in the church.  When it comes to homosexuality, it appears to me that there are those who would take seven verses out of the over thirty-one thousand verses in Scripture and make them boss verses.  Even if we camp on verses where the world “abomination” shows up, it only ends up talking of homosexuality once.  Things like worry, procrastination, and gossip are addressed much more in Scripture and are also much more prevalent no matter where one goes.  But we do not make boss verses out of these, so we pretty much let them slide.  I don’t see any Christian church or denomination anytime soon talking about biblical authority in the same breath as sins of the tongue; or, looking to bring discipline to gossipers; or, getting upset about chronic whisperings behind others’ backs.  Instead, we just live with it.  We wish it were different, but it does not make our blood boil.  If gossip began to take away our power or authority, then I am sure it would make it to the floor of denominational meetings and local church annual scream-festivals.
 
            Here’s the deal as I see it: all Christians hold to biblical authority.  To me, this is not the issue.  The real issue is which Bible passages call the shots for us.  Until we are able to confess this practice, it seems to me we will get nowhere.  So, in the meantime, I would rather be looked at as a friend of sinners, or a friend of gays, because that controls my thought and practice more than injunctions from the book of Leviticus.  I take loving my neighbor as a boss verse, so this determines how I speak more than whether I speak in tongues or not.  I will choose to go out of my way to emphasize that all people are made in the image of God because I take the Bible’s reference to God’s creation of humans as a boss verse.  This does not mean I ignore other verses; it just means I have identified which verses of Holy Scripture I believe control other verses.
 
            I am really not trying to stir the pot (well, maybe a little!).  I am simply making a plea for us to be honest about how we handle the Bible.  And if we have never read the entire Bible from Genesis to Revelation (and more than once) then it seems to me we are on thin ice to make pronouncements about what are to be the boss verses or what is the clear teaching of Scripture.
 
            If you need to go pet your dog after reading this, I understand.  Please just do me the respect to think about these things without immediately jumping to conclusions or condemnation.  After all, I believe that grace is the boss of everything in the Bible.

Facing Temptation

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            Jesus was thrown into the desert by the Holy Spirit after his baptism (Mark 1:9-15).  The forty days of fasting and being tempted by Satan were a necessary preparation for Christ’s upcoming ministry.  We all, likewise, need a desert spirituality which has been formed in the crux of testing and strengthening our faith.  Here are some biblical lessons I have learned from my own experiences of God forging faith in my life:
 
  1. Know your weaknesses; know yourself; know the temptations of Satan directed at you.  Three top temptations we all face are worry, procrastination, and gossip.  The demonic whispers come often in relation to a perceived need of perfectionism.  We worry about the future and not saying or doing something perfectly.  We procrastinate for fear of screwing up and not being perfect.  And we gossip to others about their faults and weaknesses because it maintains the illusion that our perfectionism is intact, at least as compared to others.  Perfectionism is slavery.  Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
  2. Understand the importance of timing.  When are you at your weakest?  When are you most vulnerable to temptation?  What triggers you to sin?  Parents know that when kids act up that they are likely tired or hungry or have some other need.  It is the same with us.  Carrying a massive sleep debt, skipping meals or eating junk food because we are constantly in a hurry will set us up for temptation.  Elijah faced down four-hundred prophets of Baal, and then completely fell apart when one woman, Jezebel, went after him (1 Kings 18-19).  He was exhausted.  God gave him food and rest. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith….”
  3. Look to God and others.  Do not rely solely on your own willpower or think in your pride that you can resist temptation all by yourself all the time.  Even Jesus looked both to his Father and his disciples.  Listen to him on this, from Matthew 26, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch with me….  Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.  ‘Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?  Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.’”
  4. Have a plan.  Flying by the seat of your pants will not always work.  Proverbs 22:3 says, “A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”  One of the major ways I personally resist temptation is by having a daily plan of worshiping God, praying, and reading Scripture at set times throughout the day.  I know that this is not for everyone, but for me it is significant to have much more than a few minutes of a ‘quiet time’ in the morning.
  5. Overcome evil with good.  “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).  If we apply this to our top three temptations that people face, that means the worrier will love his/her enemies and pray for those who persecute.  It means the procrastinator will take intentional steps of faith and risk, being real and vulnerable with others through accountability relationships.  It means the gossip will seek to speak words of encouragement that build others up.
  6. Know that you are never alone.  Angels attended Jesus in his desert temptations.  Even the Son of God was never really facing down temptation by himself.  Whatever it is you are facing is likely not unique to you.  Others face the same thing.  Our brothers and sisters throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of problems when they seek to walk with Christ.

 

Let God’s decision to toss you into the desert shape and strengthen your faith.  If the Holy Spirit has thrown you into a dry place, then instead of bucking the situation and complaining about it, learn all you can about resisting temptation so that you can come out the other end a stronger, more faithful follower of Jesus Christ and ready for a life of service to the church and the world.

Getting Rid of Gossip

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            Taking stock of our lives and how we live day in and day out is especially pertinent during Lent.  Our speech and how we use our tongues is of utmost importance to God.  So, having a heightened realization of the words that come out of our mouths might just be the best place to begin in living the repentant life of Lent. 
 
One of the leading temptations of people (in both the church and the world) is gossip.
 
            Scripture speaks with clarity on the subject of gossip.  Gossip is included on lists of evil behavior (Romans 1:29; 2 Corinthians 12:20).  It is to speak against another person behind their back, without their knowledge.  The New Testament word for gossip can literally be translated as “whisperings.”  In other words, anything that needs to be whispered and not said out loud is likely to be something that should be kept to oneself.  The Apostle James was straightforward in exhorting the church that “with the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers, this should not be” (James 3:9-10).
 
In the Old Testament book of Proverbs, which is the place to find short pithy statements of experiential truth, we see the damage and destruction that our tongues can wreak through gossip.  Here are just a few:  “A gossip betrays a confidence….”  “…a gossip separates close friends.”  True repentance does not only identify and confess wrong speech, but adopts new patterns of speaking that kills gossip. 
 
To avoid gossip we must:  be trustworthy by being people who keep confidences (Proverbs 11:13); and, steer clear of people who talk too much (Proverbs 20:19).
 
We even get a glimpse in Scripture of why a gossip uses his/her tongue in such a way.  The Apostle John found it difficult to minister in certain places because of Diotrephes’ wagging tongue.  He maliciously gossiped about John because Diotrephes loved to be first (3 John 9-10).  Indeed, much gossip comes from a feeling of superiority or power over another.  Gossip inevitably, as in the case of Diotrephes, leads to a lack of hospitality and imitating evil behavior instead of loving words and actions.
 
We often grossly underestimate our ability to say unkind words of gossip to others. 
 
If a person cannot go twenty-four hours without drinking liquor, we would say that person is addicted to alcohol.  Likewise, if one cannot go twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then that person has lost control over the tongue and repentance is in order.  There is absolutely no place for backbiting in the church; it is the one institution on earth that ought to be a gossip-free zone. 
 
What destroys churches is not lack of members or funds, or government oppression or anything else; what kills congregations is gossip.
 
The way to overcome gossip is to talk with the person who slighted you, ignored you, or hurt you.  There cannot be a healthy culture of encouragement, help, and forgiveness unless there is an equal commitment to avoiding gossip through speaking to the one who caused damage.  Such persons are called peacemakers by Jesus.  Listening to gossip is like eating a wormy rotten apple; it will always leave a bad taste.  But having an environment free of gossip brings a feeling of health right down to the bones. 
 
For gossip to dry up in the church there must be a shared value and commitment to do away with it.
 

 

Yes, Lent is a season of repentance.  It is a time to realize sin and turn from it through embracing godly words and actions.  If there is to be the joy of Easter and new life, there must be the hard work of repentance during Lent.  There are no shortcuts.