Category: Exploring Church Ministry Blog

The Power of Gratitude

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
Thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live (1 Thessalonians 5:18, The Message).
 
            Gratitude has the power to change our lives and our churches.  That is, if we let it.  If we want to live happy contented lives, then we will obey the Scripture’s exhortation to give thanks in any kind of circumstance in any kind of context.  It can be a challenge to give thanks during hard times.  But that might be the most important time to do it.  The biblical character David had the where-with-all to acknowledge his desperate condition, yet chose to praise God in the middle of it.  In Psalm 57 he said, “I am in the midst of lions; I lie among ravenous beasts – men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords… They spread a net for my feet – I am bowed down in distress… But my heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music… I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.”
 
            If you are in between a rock and a hard place, for what can you express praise and thanksgiving to God?  Our spiritual ancestors, the pilgrims, came to this country.  The original colonial pilgrims of America numbered over a hundred when they came, and, after the first winter, less than fifty of them remained.  It does not get much bleaker than that.  Yet, instead of retreating into bitterness, resentment, and envy, they decided to set aside a particular day to give thanks for what they had, and not be constantly upset about what they did nothave.
 
            We are to give thanks in all kinds of circumstances, whether good or bad, whether big or small.  In her book, The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom tells about an incident that taught her the principle of giving thanks in all things. It was during World War II. Corrie and her sister, Betsy, had been harboring Jewish people in their home, so they were arrested and imprisoned at Ravensbruck Concentration Camp.  The barracks was extremely crowded and infested with fleas. One morning they read in their tattered Bible from 1 Thessalonians the reminder to give thanks in all things.  Betsy said, “Corrie, we’ve got to give thanks for this barracks and even for these fleas.”  Corrie replied, “No way am I going to thank God for fleas.” But Betsy was persistent and persuasive, and they did thank God even for the fleas.  During the months that followed, they found that their barracks was left relatively free, and they could do Bible study, talk openly, and even pray in the barracks. It was their only place of refuge. Several months later they learned that the reason the guards never entered their barracks was because of those blasted fleas.
 
            Sometimes we do not understand what God is doing.  Sometimes we just don’t perceive that the Lord is up to anything.  You may feel as if you are sitting still right now, yet, planet Earth is spinning around its axis at a speed of 1,000 miles per hour.  We are also hurtling through space at an average velocity of 67,108 miles per hour. So even on a day when you feel like you did not get much done, do not forget that you traveled 1,599,793 miles through space! To top things off, the Milky Way is spinning like a galactic pinwheel at the dizzying rate of 483,000 mph.
 
That is amazing. But we don’t feel it, so it’s off our radars.  When was the last time you thanked God for keeping us in orbit? I’m guessing you have never prayed, “Lord, I wasn’t sure we’d make the full rotation today, but you did it again!” We just don’t pray that way.  But we are to learn to thank God in every circumstance, both big and small.  If we can trust God to keep our feet on the ground with a big thing like gravity, then we can trust him in any and every situation we experience.
 

 

            Gratitude has healing power.  It is easy to complain about church.  Any common fool will go on and belly-ache about how bad things are and play arm-chair Deity about how to fix all the ills of the church and the world.  But it takes a wise person to find gratitude and choose to give thanks for all the good things God has done and is doing, being careful to give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will in Christ Jesus.

Relationships are Worth the Effort

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
            When my family and I lived in West Michigan, we spent a lot of time every August at Lake Michigan enjoying the wonderful sandy beaches.  One summer was unusually hot, and, as a result, thousands of fish died in the lake.  On a Saturday we went to the beach.  It was very windy and hot.  Most Saturdays would find hundreds of people on the beach.  But on this day, not so many people were around.  There were dozens of dead fish getting washed up on the beach, and it smelled the part.  On top of it, there was a wind warning where no one was to get in the lake.
 
            As we settled on the beach and the girls went about playing, I sat and was reading a book.  There were two boys playing together.  They were having all kinds of fun running around with sticks poking out the eyes of the dead fish.  They also were working on a big sand castle.  They were nearly finished with it when a large wave from the lake came in and destroyed hours of work.  I was thinking to myself that these boys were going to really be disappointed and upset.  Instead, they both had big belly laughs over it.  Then, they just started building it again as if nothing had happened.
 
            As I thought about the scene of watching the two boys, I realized a life lesson which the book of Ecclesiastes teaches us:  Sooner or later something comes along and knocks down what we work so hard to build in life.  Initially, it all seems meaningless.  But if we have built it together, we will be able to laugh and rebuild it together. 
 
            Healthy relationships are always at the heart of a well-lived life.  The Bible is a story about relationships, and is filled with instruction about them.  The Great Commandment of Jesus – to love God and love neighbor – is about relationships.  The Ten Commandments are given to us in order to govern how to rightly relate to God and others.  The fruit of the Spirit in the New Testament is relational fruit.  Paul’s letters to the churches all deal in how to handle relational problems amongst others.  The narratives of Scripture communicate to us the consequences, both good and bad, of relationships.
 
            The author of Ecclesiastes spent his entire life seeking happiness, purpose, and meaning in life.  He affirms that enjoying relationships with others is a major key in possessing contentment in life.  The author tells us that working our tails off with no meaningful relationships, and/or sacrificing our relationships at the altar of work is meaningless.  There is no end to work and there is always another job to do.  Constant work with no significant relationships is vain, meaningless, and misguided.  
 
            If anybody could have been an independent lone ranger it was Jesus.  But Jesus made relationships a priority.  He nurtured individual relationships with a number of people, including his dear friends Lazarus, Mary, and Martha.  Jesus also nurtured group relationships.  He appointed twelve disciples to be with him.  They did everything together – worked, prayed, laughed, cried, and fought together.  Even Jesus looked to his close friends in his greatest hour of need in facing the crucifixion.  Jesus was not self-sufficient, so our trying to live this way is completely against the grain of how God created us. 
 
            Maintaining good relationships with fellow church members can be hard work.  Prioritizing relationships takes lots of energy.  When we get to the end of our lives, it is not going to matter how much stuff we have or how far up the ladder we climbed in our vocations.  What will matter is how well we loved all the people in our lives.
 

            We are coming up on the 15th anniversary of 9/11.  Stories abound of people, trapped in the twin towers, knowing they were about to die, calling friends and family.  There is no story about an employee calling his/her boss to say the work would not get done today, or financial adviser to check on how such a tragedy would impact their portfolio.  They called their spouses, sons and daughters, and best friends just to say three little words:  “I love you.”  Relationships, it turns out in the end, are worth the effort.

Principles of Forgiveness

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
Since the heart of God’s gospel of grace is the forgiveness of sins we possess through the person and work of Jesus Christ, the church really cannot talk too much about the need for forgiveness.  Christians are not meant to pray a sinner’s prayer, and then move on with their lives without thinking about forgiveness anymore.  Forgiveness is to be a constant dynamic of relationships because we live in a fallen world.  People sin against us.  We sin against others.  Relational pain is a reality this side of heaven.  But revenge and/or passive-aggressive behavior are not biblical ways of handling our hurt.  Let’s keep in mind some principles of what forgiveness is and is not:
 
Forgiveness is hard work. 
 
God did not promise forgiveness would be cheap or easy.  He knows exactly the kind of cost it brings.  Through the blood of Jesus there can be and is forgiveness.  “The blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean.  How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!” (Hebrews 9:13-14).
 
Forgiveness is a process.
 
            It is a process of putting off and putting on.  It takes time, and cannot be quickly done.  Forgiveness must be deliberate with no shortcuts to it, otherwise it will not stick.  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
 
Forgiveness does not mean we condone bad behavior.
 
            Forgiveness is not blanket amnesty.  It does not simply give another person a “pass” on their sinful words or actions.  Forgiveness just means we do not hold the offense over the other person’s head.  Dr. Fred Luskin from Stanford University does research in the area of forgiveness, and says this about it:  “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past.”  We cannot undo the past.  But we have control of the present, and can choose to forgive.  True forgiveness calls a spade a spade and names the specific offense in all its ugliness, and lets it go.
 
Forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation.
 
            It takes two to reconcile.  It only takes one to forgive.  I have often been told by individuals that it would do no good to forgive another because it would not change the other person.  That is not the point.  We forgive because it is our responsibility to work through our forgiveness issues and to do it.  We are not in control of whether another person will feel sorry for what they did, or not.  We are in control of our own decision to forgive, no matter what the other person does or does not do, or whether they feel the gravity of their sin, or not.
 
Forgiveness is primarily for our benefit.
 
            If you hold on to bitterness toward another for their offense, you are not hurting anybody but yourself.  Drinking the poison of bitterness will kill you, not the other person.  So, deal with forgiving that other person, and do not have the magical thinking that they are going to come to you all slobbery sorry for what they said or did.  That often does not happen.  When it does, it is a beautiful thing.  But we forgive everyone who sins against us just as God has forgiven us.
 

 

            Relational currency in the kingdom of God is forgiveness.  Without it, we can neither operate well together, nor can we enjoy a satisfying life.  But with forgiveness is a demonstration of the practical effects of Christ’s crucifixion in our lives, not to mention a witness to a watching world.  

How to Forgive

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
Peter came up to the Lord and asked, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me?  Is seven times enough?”  Jesus answered:  “Not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!”
 
 
 
If people want to be content in this life, they must obey Christ’s command to practice forgiveness.  But many people live with discontentment because they think to themselves:  “I will not forget what you did, and I will not forgive.”  Persistent thoughts of revenge only serve as a cancer which destroys the mind’s thoughts, erodes the soul, and hinders the heart’s ability to love.  But people who practice forgiveness are much less likely to be hateful, hostile, and belligerent toward others.  They are healthier and happier, and more at peace.
 
            I have had people tell me, “But you don’t know what I’ve been through.”  My typical response is:  “You don’t know what I have been through, either.  You may not even believe some of the things I have experienced, and some of the things that have happened to me and were said to me.  So, can I tell you what I have done to forgive those who have sinned against me?”
 
  1. When I am trying to forgive someone, I pray for them.
            It is hard to keep resenting someone and wish them ill will when you are praying for them on a regular basis.  In the book of Genesis, Joseph was the victim of his brothers’ abuse.  If there was ever a dysfunctional family to grow up in, it was Joseph’s.  Being sold into slavery by your own brothers and being the target of their derision would cause anyone to be upset.  But, many years later, Joseph chose to forgive his brothers.  He acted with their best interests at mind.  He prayed for them, and did not actively work against them.  What is more, he eventually came to see the hand of God in it all.  Joseph said to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).
 
  1. I write a letter of forgiveness (which I may or may not send).
            In the letter I detail how the person hurt me.  I leave nothing out.  And I express exactly how it made me feel, and how it affected my life.  Then, I express forgiveness and say that I will not hold the offense over their head.  Here is a five-step process for forgiving others using the acrostic REACH which helps shape how I write:
 
Recall.  That is, name the hurt.  Name it squarely.  Do not fudge on it by saying it is not that bad, or as bad as others might have experienced.  Call it what it is, whatever it is:  deceit; stealing; assault or abuse; adultery; or, verbal shaming; even, murder.  The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa after apartheid was based on providing full disclosure of all crimes.  Those that stepped forward to do so would be offered a full pardon.  Desmond Tutu, who led the commission, was most struck by how many people wanted to hear what had happened to their loved ones from the perpetrators themselves so that they could know whom to forgive.  Methinks we have much learn from our African brothers and sisters.
 
Empathize.  Try and see the offense from the other person’s perspective and attempt to put oneself in the other’s shoes.  This does not mean we paper over the offense; it just means we don’t demonize another as a monster.  That only feeds and fuels our own lack of forgiveness.  When we view others as non-human, then we feel no responsibility to forgive.
 
Altruistic.  Choose to do the right thing and treat the other person well, not because they deserve it, but because it is within your control to extend grace.  Again, this is what Joseph chose to do with his brothers:  “So then, don’t be afraid.  I will provide for you and your children.”  And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them (Genesis 50:21).
 
Commit.  Commit to practice forgiveness.  Make a decision to do it.  Do not wait too long for your feelings to catch up to you.  “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
 
Hold.  Hold on to your forgiveness.  Just because you make the decision to forgive does not mean you will never have to do it again.  Once you have forgiven, let it be a stake in the ground in which you can look back to it again and again.  “I forgave him/her, and I will not let the enemy of my soul keep trying to make me bitter about it all over again.”  One of the reasons we repeat the Lord’s Prayer Sunday after Sunday in my church is in order to forgive those who have sinned against us.
 
  1. I talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor about my effort to forgive.
            Many people get stuck in discontentment and an inability to forgive because they do not seek a wise person to help them walk through the process of forgiving.  The easy path is to complain about the offense to someone we know will react with the same level of disgust and spirit of revenge that we ourselves have in our hearts.  But that only reinforces bitterness.  We need someone who can offer us what we need to hear, and not what we want to hear.
 

 

            Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel, and, so, ought to be at the core of healthy church life.  Let forgiveness shape your life and ministry, and not a bitter unforgiving spirit so that Jesus is glorified in the power of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.