Category: Exploring Church Ministry Blog

Gays and the Church?

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment

It is possible to stand for truth without being a jerk about it.  It is equally true that we can love another person deeply and still hold firm to the truth.  Somehow speaking the truth in love doesn’t seem to apply to the church when it comes to homosexuality.

I must admit that over the years, and particularly now as my own denomination is having a conversation about gays in the church, that I am genuinely grieved and lament over how people talk to one another about this.  On the one hand, there is the truth tellers.  They have a passion for holiness, a zeal for the righteousness of God.  They point out that Jesus got angry over sin, and did not put up with people watering down the gospel.  Jesus, for them, is the Divine Warrior who is ready and armed to nuke every GLBT that gets near him.  On the other hand there are the lovers.  They are sincerely and often hurt by the constant chatter about how gays are sinners bound for hell.  For them, Jesus loves, period.  He wouldn’t hurt a fly, and drives a Prius around trying to leave the most loving impact he can on the earth without a harmful spiritual footprint or a rebuke from anyone.

I, of course, have painted the extremes on both sides.  But therein lies the point:  all the rhetoric that gets spewed on each side of the fence is extreme.  Somehow love and truth don’t co-exist.

The problem is that few want to take the time to listen.  Few are interested in understanding the other.  There isn’t much poverty of spirit, little mourning over sin, and even less meekness.  Instead, we look down our noses at each other.  But listening, really?  Yep, listening is really that important.  “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.  If the person listens to you, you have won your brother or sister over.”  (Matthew 18:15).  I guess it is kind of hard to listen when people are taking pot shots at each other through social media and huddling together in their own little world.  Matthew 18 presupposes relationship, and there seems to be little of it going around.

So, how about this:  truth teller, will you take the time and the effort to build a relationship with a gay person?  Will you seek to ask questions, listen, and understand without making comments?  Are you able to see the image of God in someone very different from yourself?  And, lover of all, do you have room to love someone who is at opposite ends of your understanding?  Are you willing to take the time and effort to see why this is such a passionate issue for someone else without thinking that you already know why they think the way they do?  Can you see that God’s love is big enough to extend to truth tellers?

The reality is that there are hot button issues for every church in which people are at very different ends of the spectrum of thinking.  We in the church must take the lead and have the maturity to learn how to talk to one another without assuming we already know what the other side is all about.  We don’t.  We won’t know unless we listen.  We won’t listen unless we are humble.  We won’t be humble unless we become poor in spirit before our heavenly Father.

Think about having a conversation night in your church, not a debate night.  Have two godly people who don’t agree on an important subject speak with the intent of promoting information and understanding – no other agenda.  Allow the audience to ask write-in questions, and screen the best ones to be answered by the presenters.  It has to start somewhere.  Let it start with listening.

We Need a Few Gray Hairs

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment

In my previous post I emphasized that older generations need to understand how the younger generations think and act.  I want to balance that with pondering church from the elder perspective.  What do you think of when I say “senior adult ministry?”  We almost exclusively consider this to be a ministry to seniors rather than from seniors.  The bald fact is that ministry is fast becoming so focused on youth and younger generations that the church is being “juvenilized.”  Whereas a healthy focus on youth can bring great spiritual renewal and vitality to the church, focusing too heavily on it brings a watered-down understanding of the gospel and the Christian life that is quite unhealthy.

My wife and youngest daughter recently took a mission trip to Joplin, Missouri.  They drove there and spent a week with an “older” couple from our church (in their late 70’s).  It was the New Testament letter of Titus in action for my family.  In fact, Titus chapter 2 stands everything on end by an emphasis of older persons mentoring younger people; it is ministry from seniors and not to them.  This “old” couple had more energy than anyone else on a mission team of over fifty people.  They ate everything put in front of them without complaining.  They worked everyone else in the ground.  They always had something positive to say in the middle of every adverse circumstance.  They had a can-do spirit that was matter of fact.  They loved without ever expecting anything in return.  You see, this couple is not an anomaly; our elders, who have lived the longest with the power of the Holy Spirit, are usually the most able to share the Father’s love in a Christ-like manner.

Values of thrift, simplicity, loyalty, faithfulness, wisdom, and maturity (which can only be gained over time!) are best learned neither from trial and error, nor from the school of hard knocks, but through prolonged exposure to the elders all around us.  Fools are fools because they ignore old people.  The Old Testament book of Deuteronomy is a book that calls people to remember.  In addressing a group of foolish people who had forgotten God, chapter 32 verse 7 says, “Remember the days of old; consider the generations of long past.  Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain it to you.”

What would happen if churches constructed Sunday School programs based on Titus 2?  Can we even think the thought that church renewal could come through spunky and active elders?  Its high time that we in church leadership positions do two things:  first, teach the older persons for the expressed purpose of  them turning around and teaching the younger persons; and, second, stick those teens, twenty-somethings, and young parents out to pasture with godly elders so that they can feed off healthy green grass instead of just talking among themselves in a great circle of collective ignorance.  People rightly lament when there are no children or young families in a church.  We ought also to equally lament when there are no gray heads in the worship center.

Let us honor the old among us by learning from them, and allow them the respect and decency of listening and working together with them to the glory of God.

Keeping My Options Open

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment

One of the great problems of today’s church, in my humble opinion, is that decades of generational ministry has led to people in the Body of Christ only relating to the parts of the body just like themselves.  Even within family units, parents have difficulty understanding teenagers and grandparents have a hard time relating to twenty-somethings.  We only exacerbate the problem by giving such a potpourri of offerings in the church (i.e. dare I say it?  a traditional service and a contemporary service) that the ages are segregated with no meaningful interaction.  In short, we just don’t know each other.  I have heard older generations bemoan the lack of commitment among younger people, and younger people complain of older folks as stuck in a rut.  I believe the onus is always on the older to reach the younger (the New Testament letter of Titus chapter 2, for example).  So, let’s reconsider the perspective that young people lack commitment.

There is a mantra that I have heard many students, twenty-somethings, and young families repeat over and over when considering what they will be doing this summer, how the next academic year will shake out, whether they will stick with a certain relationship or activity, how and when they may commit to any involvement, and if they might show up at a certain event or even church: “I’m keeping my options open.”

At first thought this sounds pretty wishy-washy.  But the thought in a young person’s head is typically one of not wanting to close doors that might be open to them, or to not burn bridges with anyone. They want to entertain as many promising options as they can, because they do not want to miss an opportunity, lose control of a situation, or get locked into something they aren’t sure of. Thus, many in the younger generations are typically loathe to settling down on any one thing.

This is why it is commonplace for people under 35 to try a wide variety of religious and spiritual organizations, and may never settle on just one. They move effortlessly between a large group meeting in one place and a bible study in another, and between a small traditional church and a big contemporary worship service. Spiritual experiences for them often take the form of freedom, exploration, spontaneity, and renewal.

Although it is important for all people to learn the value of loyalty and developing consistent routines centered in spiritual disciplines, in a younger person’s modus operandi they typically will not succumb to a dry faith that is done out of sheer duty or habit. So, instead of pressing or expecting them to be in our mold of devotion and faithfulness through closing doors and making consequential decisions, perhaps we ought to walk alongside them and join them in the journey they are on. The New Testament refers to Christianity as a road or a way, and the Christian life as a walk that we take with Jesus and the Spirit. It is in this walking together with another that we can help them consider the options that are before them, and provide counsel, wisdom, and warning concerning the forks in the road and the exits off the path. Younger generations can learn to forego certain options and commit to something particular when we take the time to journey with them.

So, rather than lament this generation’s lack of focus and ever-present flakiness, may we understand their desire to have genuine relationships with God and others that does not miss out on a vibrant life.

-How can we be a help, and not a hindrance to others in their journey?
-What can God do for and with individuals who keep their options open?
-Where is the Spirit taking a young person in his/her walk?
-What are your options in relating to particular persons, and generations of people?

Distracted by Grace

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment

 

          With summer, church ministries typically take a hiatus from their normal schedules.  Along with that reality, our own spirituality may suffer as we turn to other things like vacations or being around the kids all the time.  Summer distractions may overwhelm our good intentions toward walking with God, as if we have a condition of spiritual A.D.D.  We seem to… “squirrel!”… be easily distracted by the next thing that comes running along, and have a hard time focusing on what is important in life.

But before we get too perturbed with ourselves, think about the nature of our lives. Teenagers and twenty-somethings are learning to flex their independent muscles and are developing a whole new skill set of handling a budget, paying bills on their own, creating new social networks, adjusting to new schedules, and finding and holding a job.  Young families are constantly adjusting to the next crazy thing their pre-school kids are doing, trying to coordinate both parents working, all while attempting to keep both sets of grandparents happy.  Parents of teens probably aren’t even reading this article because they are driving kids from one end of the planet to the other (it seems), and wonder if they will ever catch up on the sleep they need.  And grandparents in our culture today are just as busy, but with the added irritation of constantly dealing with the next ache and pain.  It is easy in the daily demands of life to have Jesus squeezed to the margins.

Let me suggest that rather than feeling guilty for our spiritual lives because of all the distractions and seeming lack of discipline, that we shift our distractions by being distracted by grace.  When we sense our schedules are awry, our financial budgets won’t budge, and our work never seems to get done, that we use these situations to be distracted by the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.  When we are forever chasing the next shiny thing that comes along, and/or complain about our own schedules as if there are not enough minutes in the day to accomplish God’s will, let us be distracted with the forgiveness that is available to us through the cross.  After all, the Christian life is about having a realization of our sin, and of a renewal to our relationship with God.  Allow our distraction to point us to grace.

Most of life, frankly, is lived in the mundane. How we live for God day in and day out, through all the details and tedium, speaks volumes to those for whom we seek to minister to, whether it is our own children, fellow believers in the Church, or others who do not know God.   Establishing solid spiritual patterns of life can be hard.  But maybe a key for us is in allowing grace to distract us enough to connect us with accepting God’s forgiveness, instead of just running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Allow grace to distract us toward thinking on these questions:

–Am I living in a consistent rhythm of life that reflects my most precious values?
–Have I learned to practice the presence of Christ in the mundane activities of life?
–Do I have healthy patterns of work, rest, and play that others can emulate?

In being distracted by grace, we may find that we have actually become engaged with God.