Author: Tim Ehrhardt

I'm just a common ordinary pastor, chaplain, father, grandfather, and dog owner who loves the smell of a genuine leather Bible and the aroma of its message. I'm on a quest to track down the best Bibles, how to best read and use them, and to discover the encouragement inside.

Good Grief

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
           

 

 
            It is a terrible reality that by living in a fallen world we will all be faced at various times with grief and bereavement.  One of the most significant ministries that a church can engage in is a ministry of comforting those experiencing loss.  The words and actions of people make a difference, for either good or ill, when faced with traumatic times.
 
            When my wife’s brother died in the early ‘90s due to complications from AIDS, we heard some comforting words, and we heard calloused words that simply did not help.  Phrases such as, “Well, you know he just reaped what he sowed!” and, “You should move on and forget him,” were not only unhelpful but downright hurtful.  On the other hand, there were people who offered a genuine and heartfelt “I’m sorry,” or hugs with no words attached.
 
In the first chapter of the New Testament book of 2 Corinthians, the word “comfort” is used ten times in five verses (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).  It is a beautiful word; one for which the Apostle Paul knew all too well for the many times he faced his own set of trials and tribulations.  He understood God’s design that those who have seen the face of evil and overcame are in the best position to give grace to those who need it most.
 
Grief attaches itself to any significant change or loss.  Whether it is the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or health, or the empty nest syndrome, or any of a number of losses, it is both natural and necessary to grieve.  Most people are familiar with the five stages of grief, observed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:
  1. Denial – “I’m ok” or “this can’t be happening”
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining – “if only…”
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance
We are to come alongside and walk with another through grief, offering helpful words and actions, until the person can accept the new situation and move on.  With any change or loss, there becomes a new normal that we must adjust to.  Everyone’s grief is personal; each individual moves through their own stages of grief, and each one moves on their own timetable.  Sometimes people get “stuck” in one stage and need help getting out.
 
The way people get unstuck, and the way they come to resolution and acceptance is through telling their story.  So, our role is to listen well.  Our place is neither to give advice, nor to quote a lot of scripture about how everything will be okay.  Our place is to let the grieving person grieve, and come out the other end having grieved well.  Grieving well can only happen if we listen well to those in grief.  We will not listen well if we do not respect the reality that we all must grieve. 
 

 

What is more, God always has a listening ear.  He knows grief and bereavement better than all of us, because he experienced seeing the agonizing death of his one and only Son.  And it is through Jesus that genuine acceptance is realized.  Because Christ died and rose again, there is a future resurrection awaiting us and our loved ones.  May you, by faith, enter into life that is truly life by embracing Jesus Christ.  May your grief be turned to joy, and may your comfort overflow.

Difficult Funerals

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
I do my fair share of funerals.  Many of them are a ministry to families who truly celebrate an aged parent or grandparent, having lived a full and blessed life.  But then there are those occasions when a death is nothing less than a sad and tragic event.  Last week I had one of those funerals.  I officiated a service of a young woman who left three small children and lots of questions from friends, parents, and siblings.  Addiction was at the center of her passing from this life into the next.  The following is the biblical substance of what I said at that funeral, based in a Scripture passage from Isaiah 65:17-25.
 
This Scripture passage from the prophet Isaiah portrays a vision of hope – a hope for better days when the brokenness of this world will be mended, when that which is lost will be found, and a time when what is incomplete will be made whole.  There is a confident expectation for the believer that our troubles, our sufferings, and our failings are not the last word; instead, the promises of God will have the final say, and those promises will all be realized.
 
            If it were left up to us, to fallen and fallible humanity, there would be no hope because it is our sin that has made such a mess of things.  But, thanks be to God, that hope is built on what Godsays and his promises to his people.  And every promise finds its fulfillment in Jesus Christ.  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and formed man and woman as his greatest creation.  To human beings alone God created them in his own image and likeness.  But tragedy happened when the people God formed for himself and for his glory decided to rebel and go their own way.  That act of disobedience plunged the entire world into darkness.  To this day we feel and experience the effects of that original Fall into sin and separation from God.  Yet, the story of the Holy Bible does not end there because God, in his grace, did not abandon his creatures but promised to redeem them.  The ultimate act of this grace was God the Father sending God the Son to this earth.  It is the life and teaching of Jesus, his death on a cross, his resurrection from the dead, and his ascension to heaven that has taken care of the sin issue and the brokenness of the world once for all.  God’s Holy Spirit is at work, even now, bringing the effects of Christ’s finished work to the lives of people so that they may live new lives.  And this is where hope is kindled – that there is coming a time when all things will be made new and the world will be made right because of Jesus Christ.
 
            Sin, death, and hell do not have the last word.  Everything in this world that is unfair, unjust, twisted, and broken will be healed.  The prophet Isaiah speaks of a vision that is ahead, which is coming.  This is a vision of the future that helps give us some sense and a bit of meaning to our present questions and grief.
 
            The ancient Israelites, for whom this prophecy was directed, did not always live as they ought to have lived.  The history of the Israelites is a complicated picture of sincere worship of God punctuated with sad times of rebellion and disobedience.  It is true of us all that we are at many times a convoluted mix of both good and bad, capable of both wise decisions and foolish actions.  The reality is that we all bear the marks of being in the image of God, but also of a sinful nature that resembles the Fall of our original ancestors. 
 
 
 
There are times in life when we exemplify the image of God within us – times when we have sincere spiritual excitement and a desire for prayer – times when we can freely share Scripture with family or friends to help them in their hour of need.  Our giftedness and abilities can go far when used for good.  Yet, tragically, we also carry within us the burden of our fallen natures and we are, at times, carried away by that which enslaves.  We are by no means alone in that struggle.  The Apostle Paul, by whom much of the New Testament was written, captured this tension and difficulty.  He said to the Church at Rome:  I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  Paul went on to say:  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.  He concluded his thought with this:  What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!  Men and women, but for the grace of God, but for the cross of Jesus Christ, we would all be given completely over to trouble!
 
The prophet Isaiah has given us a glimpse that God’s plans and purposes move toward a climax – that life as we know it right now is not how it will be forever.  Death sometimes cuts off life before it has had a chance to begin well.  Sometimes when that happens, we ponder our own failings and wonder if things could have been different if we had acted a certain way or said a certain thing.  But what transcends all of our human words and earthly actions is the promise of God to make all things new, restore all things, and bring a new era of righteousness into the world.  The hope the Christian has because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ is that the power of death itself has been destroyed.  A whole new order of things is coming, and it will be so new that the past will be forgiven and forgotten in Jesus’ name.
 

 

So, today we have a choice:  to place our faith and hope in Christ, or to go our own way.  God gives us everything we need.  Yet, being human, we, at times, fail to use that which God has given.  But God always has the last word, and his last word to us is salvation and deliverance from the power of sin and death in Jesus’ name.

Christian Hospitality

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry Blog2 Comments
 
 
            Because the end of all things is near, we must have our wits about us and have a determined focus on prayer, love, and hospitality (1 Peter 4:7-11).  The word “hospitality” is literally “love of the stranger.”  In other words, we invite another into our home that we do not know very well, and befriend them.  This is what Jesus did for us.  Through sin and disobedience, humanity became estranged from God – we were on the outside.  But because of God’s great love, he sent his Son, the Lord Jesus, to come a dwell among us.  Jesus invited us into the life of God.  He is now standing at the door and knocking, and we are to invite Jesus in (Revelation 3:20).  Jesus has so closely identified with his people that when we invite others into our homes and lives, we are inviting Jesus in. 
 
            Inviting another person into our lives, into our homes and our hearts will cost us time and effort.  So, we must practice it without grumbling.  In an ideal world we always receive something back for our work of hospitality – an invitation from the other person, or, at least, a simple thank you.  But that does not always happen, and it cannot be the driving reason why we practice hospitality.  Hospitality must be a work of love that comes from a heart that has been touched by the hospitality of God.  Our earthly hospitality is to be a form of saying “thank you” to God for his great grace to us.  Complaining comes when we expect to receive and don’t get it.  If you receive another person as though he were Christ himself, you will not complain but will rejoice in your service.  But if we do not receive another into our lives as if he/she were Christ, we will not receive Christ either because Jesus said “whoever receives you, receives me” (Matthew 10:40).
 
            In ancient Christianity, a concrete expression of love to other believers in Jesus was providing food and shelter for Christians traveling throughout the Roman Empire.  Many times the traveling strangers were itinerant evangelists spreading the message of the gospel from place to place (3 John).  At other times, believers were deprived of some of their basic necessities due to the occasional waves of persecution that broke out. They were often poor and needy because of their situation of being different; the townspeople were not typically hospitable.  So, Christians had to rely on the love and hospitality of those believers they could connect with who had the means to help.
 
            Hospitality, then, was an important means of providing love to fellow Christians.  Paul made it clear to the Roman Christians:  Share with God’s people who are in need.  Practice hospitality (Romans 12:13).  One of the qualifications for church leadership is that they are hospitable (1 Timothy 3:2).  Our default mode as Christians is to invite each other into our lives.  It is to happen by opening both our homes and opening our hearts to one another.
 
 
 
            There is a great need for hospitality in our world.  Many Americans’ circle of friends is shrinking.  According to one study the number of people who said they had no one to talk to about important matters has more than doubled in the past 10 years.  32 million Americans now live alone (which is 28% of all households).  Hospitality cuts both ways for us.  We are to invite the lonely into our hearts and homes; and, the lonely are to invite others into their hearts and homes, instead of waiting for somebody to just show up.
 
            Food is to hospitality what weightlifting is to bodybuilders; you really need food, meals, and the sharing that goes with it in order to experience genuine hospitality that makes a difference in another’s life.  In biblical times, eating a meal together was a sacred affair.  To have another person in your house, sitting around your table, communicated much more than simply providing food.  It communicated acceptance, care, and friendship.  This is why the Pharisees and teachers of the law had such difficulty with Jesus eating with ‘sinners;’ by eating with outsiders Jesus was clearly communicating his love and acceptance of such persons.
 
            I want us to think the thought that our dining room tables are little mission stations.  When my wife and I were new believers, there was a Christian couple who often had us into their home.  Both of us had grown up in families where we had experienced some unhealthy ways of relating.  Here we were, not really knowing what a Christian family should look like.  Through hospitality, eating together and sharing around the table, we began to learn how a family dedicated to Christ lives.  We learned life lessons that we probably could not have learned in any other way.
 
            When we think about our world, it can be a sad place.  Can people of different races live in peace?  Can Democrats find common ground with Republicans?  Can a Christian family carry on a civil friendship with a gay or lesbian couple down the street?  Can people who are very different from each other get along?  The early church did.  And they did it without all the stuff we have – sanctuaries, church buildings, programs.  Those early believers did it through the message of the cross, and the simplest tool of the home.  Not everyone can serve on the foreign mission field, or serve in a professional ministry position; but each one of us can be hospitable.  Something happens at a dinner table that does not happen in a church sanctuary.  In church we see the backs of heads – around the table you see faces.  In church you hear the preacher – around the table everyone has a voice.  A church service is on the clock – around the table we have time to talk.  Hospitality, inviting others into our hearts and homes, opens the door to true community.
 

 

            Jesus, on the night that he enjoying a meal with his disciples, said: “Take and eat.  This is my body given for you.”  One of the things Jesus meant by that statement is that eating and ingesting the elements of bread and wine, serve as a very tangible way of understanding what life is to be like.  We are to take Jesus into the depths of our lives; we are to ingest him, that is, to engage in a very close and intimate relationship with him to the degree that the two of us cannot ever be separated.  The same is to be true of our relationship with one another in the Body of Christ, the Church.  We are to do life together.  We are to enjoy eating and drinking together.  We are to share with each other not only our resources, but our hearts. Let your heart and your home be open today.

Confess Your Sins to Each Other

On By Tim EhrhardtIn Exploring Church Ministry BlogLeave a comment
 
 
When it comes to learning a new skill, or developing some practice, it really requires the willingness to take a risk and go to places we have not been before.  But fear of the unknown can hamstring us and be a significant barrier to our development as followers of Jesus.  Any growth in Christian faith will require risk.  Understandably, this is uncomfortable.  Especially as we grow older and settle into certain routines and ways of life, we become used to being in control.  Over time our comfort zone might shrink to encompass little more than the things we are good at, doing the activities that bring us a reasonable chance of success, and avoiding things that leave us vulnerable.
 
            But God calls us to faith, which requires a real sense of dependence and the necessity of putting ourselves out there for him.  So, hearing the biblical phrase “confess your sins to one another” (James 5:16) may cause us to be anxious, nervous, or just downright scared.  All of us, without exception, have our adverse circumstances, our trials, and our tribulations in this life.  The perspective of the Apostle James is that coping and dealing with the things that trouble us and give us grief cannot effectively be dealt with apart from the church.  Overcoming our troubles requires corporate involvement.  The medicine that we need to deal with life is confession of sin and prayer.  It may be a hard pill to swallow, but every good thing in the Christian life is accessed through the humility of confession.
 
It is part of the church leadership’s job to encourage, to listen to confessions, and to pray (James 5:14-15).  The Apostle James clearly puts the burden on the needy person to share his/her need.  You cannot expect others to read your mind or pick up on clues; you should take the initiative to seek prayer and encouragement.  And you should not expect healing to happen if you do not admit your need for help.
 
            In his book Invisible Men, psychologist Michael Addis tells the story about meeting a middle-aged man named Patrick. Although by all accounts Patrick was an easygoing, happily-married family man who ran a successful business, he had just tried to take his own life. After some prodding from Dr. Addis, Patrick finally divulged the events that led to his suicide attempt. His business had steadily slowed until he was unable to make the mortgage payment on their new house. Things went downhill financially from there. Then the economy crashed.  Dr. Addis writes:  “It was Patrick’s response to these events that really struck me. Rather than letting his wife and close friends know about the struggles he was facing, Patrick kept it all to himself. Over time, the gap between what people thought was going on in his life and what was actually going on grew larger, and Patrick became profoundly depressed. He couldn’t face working, but he also couldn’t face telling people how bad things had gotten …. Eventually the depression became so overwhelming that he saw no other way out.  “How could I face them?” he asked. “What would they think of me? In their eyes I’d look like a has-been, somebody whose time had come and gone, only because he couldn’t handle it.”  “But those were extremely difficult experiences you had,” I said. “Nobody could have foreseen the financial difficulties.”  “I should have been able to. Besides, that’s not what I’m talking about. I should have been able to handle it emotionally. Instead, I fell apart and turned into a sniveling little boy. What was I going to say, ‘Oh, Mommy, please help me?’ I couldn’t let people see me like that.”  On the one hand, it seemed obvious to me that no man would want to see himself like a little boy asking for Mommy’s help. But then if you stopped and thought about it, is asking for help worse than dying? How far will a man go to hide his shame? How many Patricks are out there who would rather [suffer alone] than try to break through the gauntlet of silence and invisibility that prevents them from finding the support they so desperately need?”
 
  • Some Christians are emotionally suffering and mentally struggling because of their unforgiving spirit concerning some past event and are holding on to bitterness.  They will not be well until they accept God’s prescription of confession and prayer.
  • Some Christians are suffering in silence and experiencing physical ailments because of a stubborn refusal to admit need and obey the Scripture to confess sins.
  • Some Christians are overwhelmed with life circumstances to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion because they are holding on to things that they think are important, but are not important to God.
  • Some Christians have gone to doctors, counselors, and talked to everyone under the sun about their situation, but have not taken the Bible seriously through confession and prayer to deal with their problem.
  • Some Christians are harboring secret sins and do not have victory over them because, even though they have prayed, their pride has stopped them from confession to others.

 

So what should we do?  We should confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed.  This is the responsibility of every believer.  God has not given a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).  We can do this.  I am praying for you, that your personal courage will result in confessing your sins to a trusted Christian person.