Violence Against Women

shame-image

The harassment, abuse, and assault of women is now rightly being discussed by all kinds of people.  It is high time that this is becoming front and center to public awareness.  Far too many times, and for far too long women have endured shaming silence, too afraid to talk for a whole host of reasons in all kinds of contexts from the workplace, the home, and the church.  There are also far too many places where women are not being taken seriously and are dismissed with no policies, procedures, and protocols in place for them to have any recourse.  That needs to change.

Let’s define some terms when it comes to violence against women so that we are on the same page:

Harassment – Any unwelcome advances or requests for favors or any conduct of a sexual nature which intimidates, bullies, or affects a woman’s ability to work effectively, worship joyfully, or live without fear of being blacklisted.

Abuse – Any intent by a boss, church leader, spouse, or person in authority to intimidate or control either by threat or by use of physical force on a woman, her children, and/or her property by inducing fear.

Assault – Any act in which someone sexually touches a woman without her consent, or coerces, or physically forces her to engage in a sexual act against her will.

The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women  states, “violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women… and, violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position compared with men.”

Harassment, abuse, and assault of women, whether in speech and/or action, is violence.  We need to put it in those persons so that we can unequivocally say without hesitation in our words and policies that there is a “zero tolerance” for violence of any kind here.

Sometimes churches are the last to develop the needed language and protocol for dealing with violence against women.  Many times, the church is the perpetrator through twisted webs of family-based power, clerical abuse, board indifference, biblical misinterpretation, and outright denial.  That needs to change.

This need for change is why I am pleased my own Christian denomination, The Reformed Church in America, through its Women’s Transformation & Leadership Commission, has crafted a well-written statement on the subject.  I am providing a partial text of the document here, with a link to the full text it at the bottom.  Also, I provide a link to The Christian Reformed Church in North America’s Safe Church program, which helps churches implement safe practices, policies, and procedures.

#WeAreSpeaking

A call to the church to end harassment, abuse, and sexual violence against women and girls

From the earliest story of our faith, God has painted a picture of a reality in which women and men together reflect the image of God. In Genesis 1:26-27, God establishes a vision—a vision God calls very good—of a world where men and women alike are treated with dignity, respect, and love as people created in God’s image.

And yet, not long after that vision was cast, an insidious narrative took its place. For far too long, women and girls have been victims of harassment, abuse, and sexual violence rather than being treated with the dignity God intended for them. Women have shared their stories of pain, only to have those stories fall on ears that did not wish to hear. Many women who dared to speak have been mocked and vilified.

A culture of shame and secrecy has stifled the voices of countless others (men and boys included). These people have not felt safe to share their stories because of the very real fear that their lives would be destroyed by those in positions of power. This culture has begun to shift in recent days and weeks, and we in the church are obligated to listen and respond.

We find ourselves in a pivotal moment. Social movements like the women’s march or the hashtags #timesup and #metoo show that people are grappling with how to respond to these stories of pain. Each story of #metoo has reverberated in hearts, in lives, in communities, and throughout the world. These stories have even come from within the church, which we see with the hashtag #churchtoo.

We believe the church must find its voice and speak….

If we keep silent, we are complicit in the continued dehumanization of women and girls.

If we keep silent, we fail to be coworkers with Christ in the renewal of the world and of the relationships between men and women.

If we keep silent, we ignore God’s call to be agents of change committed to ensuring that all people are treated with dignity.

We are speaking because we are committed to standing with and for women and girls who have experienced harassment, abuse, and sexual violence.

We are speaking because we are committed to seeking healthy ways for men and women to live and work together.

We are speaking, even if words fail us and our anxieties leave us uncertain about what we can do.

We are speaking because of our Christian convictions and because of the kind of world in which we want to live. When one part of the body is mistreated, the whole body is mistreated. When one person suffers, we all suffer.

We, as women and men, as children of God, as a church, courageously stand together against any word, deed, or policy that diminishes the dignity of women and girls in our communities….

Reformed Church in America #wearespeaking

Safe Church

Jeremiah 29:1-14

            Whenever I’m in a conversation with a Christian, it’s common for me to ask them what their favorite verse or passage of the Bible is.  Hands down, the most often cited verse is Jeremiah 29:11 –
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
 
            It’s a wonderful verse.  Yet, there is a distinct situation and context surrounding that verse about the future.  The verse is very much rooted in the present. The nation of Judah had been taken into captivity to Babylon.  Understandably, the people were longing to go back home; they didn’t want to be in Babylon.
So, Jeremiah (who remained in Judah) sent them a letter, and warned them to not listen to false prophets who would give them an easy answer about getting out of Babylon quickly. Instead, he told them to make a good life for themselves in their captive land.  He essentially told them to “bloom where you are planted.”
God said to the captives through Jeremiah the prophet:
“Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” (NIV)
 
            Another version says this in verse 7: “Pray for peace in Babylonia and work hard to make it prosperous.  The more successful that nation is, the better off you will be.” (CEV)
            Verse 11 only has solid meaning for us today when we:
·         understand that we are to work hard right where we are in a place we don’t want to be
·         pray for that place and its people and welfare
·         thrive in our presenthard circumstance.
Then, we can look to a bright future.  Our present sufferings do not compare to what glory is coming.  But that occurs only if we persevere and find ways of flourishing right where we are today.  How will you thrive in the place God has you right now?

 

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought me in safety to this new day.  Preserve with your mighty power so that I might not just wish for a different today and are not able to see what you have for me in this place.  May I not be overcome by adversity, but in all things direct me to the fulfilling of your purposes; through Jesus Christ, my Lord in the strength of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Grace is the Word

            One of my all-time favorite stories in the entire Bible is one that many people are not familiar with.  As far as I’m concerned, this story deserves to be up there as a hall-of-fame kind of story.  It is tucked away in the Old Testament book of 2 Samuel, almost as a parenthetical aside to the great victories and kingdom of David.  Within this one story we get to know the true heart of ministry, and the shape of what our Christian calling can look like in a world gone mad.
            David was at the pinnacle of his success.  For years, he roved all over the place hiding from King Saul.  David’s only crime was that he made the king jealous – envious enough for Saul to put out a hit on him.  Saul eventually was killed in battle, and David ascended the throne with a series of great military victories on every side of Israel.
            It is important to keep in mind that in the ancient world, kings who ascend the throne typically begin their reign by killing any-and-all potential rivals to the throne.  It was so common as to be expected.  So, if you are reading 2 Samuel 9 for the very first time and David begins by saying, “I wonder if any of Saul’s family are still alive,” you expect the hammer to come down.  David is going to secure his throne with eliminating Saul’s family.
            But David, in a twist that befits the heart of a man of God, gives his reason for wondering: “If they are, I will be kind to them, because I made a promise to Jonathan.”  Rather than find relatives of Saul to kill, David wanted to find family members, so that he could show kindness.
            This is how it is supposed to work in the kingdom of God, and in the Body of Christ – kindness to someone who does not deserve it.  Turns out Mephibosheth was still alive, and David graciously plucked him from his life as a disabled person and brought him to the palace to care for him.
            “Kindness” is a beautiful word.  It is translated as such from the Hebrew word “chesed.”Chesed [pronounced “hes-ed”] is God’s steadfast love, his infinite mercy, his loyal commitment to always watch over and care for his people.  And that is exactly what David did for Mephibosheth.
            Oftentimes, church leaders and parishioners wonder how to attract solid upper middle-class people.  Or, at least people who are much like themselves.  Those put-together-people would be able to help support the church, sustain the budget, and provide fresh volunteers for getting things done.  It is the standard operating procedure for many places.
            But what if we took a lesson from David and turned this on its head.  Instead, we scan the horizon and wonder if there are any broken people out there in our sphere of influence for whom we can show God’s steadfast love, mercy, grace, and kindness.  And then do it. Without forming a committee.
            David made a space at his table for Mephibosheth.  One practical way we can show grace is by opening our dinner table to another.  Anyone can do it.  My wife and I, back in our early years, didn’t even have a kitchen table.  But that didn’t stop us.  We invited people to share peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with us on the floor of our tiny apartment.
            We can create space and loving mercy at church by opening the Table to the spiritually disabled.  Broken and hurting people need the healing of communion with God and the Body of Christ more than anyone.  In some sense, this is all of us.  Everyone needs the healing which can result from participating in the Lord’s Supper.
            Like David, inquire about the people in your neighborhood and community.  The first step is to find out who they are.  Then, second, find a way to meet them.  And, third, just say “hi” to them.  Let an invitation to share food together arise organically and naturally, without being forced and having an agenda other than the curiosity to discover another person.

            This can be done at church, as well.  Scanning the building for lost and lonely people, you will see them if you look.  Walk across the room and engage them in a merciful conversation worthy of your spiritual ancestor, David.  Pay attention to how the Spirit leads, and follow.  Let us know how it goes.

 

            All of God’s Word is about God’s merciful wooing of wayward people back to himself.  The Lord specializes in unfocused, fuzzy lives; and, gives grace.  Truly, grace is the Word.

1 Corinthians 7:32-40

            We understand worry and anxiety.  Its part of the human condition in this broken world.  You may have even woken up this morning with deep furrows of anxiety about the state of your life – and maybe God was lost somewhere in your worry.  The Bible addresses worry many times, and the Apostle Paul brings it out here in our New Testament lesson for today.
            Throughout the letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul dealt with several issues effecting the life and spiritual (even physical) health of the church.  In chapter 7, he discusses the prospect of marriage for unmarried persons (sounds like Paul spoke at a lot of college campuses).  He goes back and forth as if he has a daisy in his hand giving a pre-marital counsel of “she loves me, she loves me not” as he pulls petals off the flower.
            Paul vacillates between whether to get married or not because he’s concerned for the larger issue of worry and anxiety.  “I want all of you to be free from worry.”  This, then, becomes a sage grid from which to make an important life decision: Does being unmarried create worry and anxiety within you, to the point that you can’t think about pleasing God?  Then drop the long engagement and get married; or, put yourself out there to connect in a relationship.  If not being married doesn’t cause you to worry, then stay in your current state and don’t pursue marriage.  Use your station in life to serve God freely, liberated from the worry of caring for a spouse.
            Pleasing and serving the Lord is Paul’s highest good.  If we are in life circumstances which make it difficult for us to serve God, then we ought to work to change the situation so that we can focus better on Christ.  This is one of the most simple and wise ways of making decisions for the Christian, and discerning God’s will.

 

God Almighty, you have brought me in safety to this new day.  Preserve me with your mighty power, that I may not fall into worry – forgetting to please you in every way.  Help me not be overcome by anxiety, and in all I do direct me to fulfilling of your purposes; through Jesus Christ, my Lord, along with you and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.